Friday, December 19, 2008

Change

My dad was a lover of change. He would change his hobbies...I alone saw him run the gambit of surfing, golf, hunting, sport fishing, guitar, and several others. He changed his address a few times. He did marry more than once. He always had an itch to do things a little differently.

I have noticed, since I became an "adult," that I have a similar instinct. Those that are close but not too close to me might be surprised by such a suggestion. I have been married to the same man for 7.5 years and I went to school and am now employed in the career that I decided upon while I was still in high school. The most exciting Ms. DeCamp has gotten was when she went for stretch of two years with highlights in her hair.

However, I still have big dreams. Not to change my partner or my profession but to make sure what I do is as worthwhile as possible and that I don't allow myself to fall into the step of a path that will not bring me satisfaction.

I've applied a pretty powerful magnifying glass to some of my choices recently and I have discovered something. I have allowed myself (and chosen, at certain points) to drift into a professional quagmire that I need to unravel in the coming year. I know there are no perfect schools, but there are subjects that are more in tune with my true gifts, and I need to stop hiding from the field that I excelled in during high school and college and see what I can bring to the table I should be sitting at in August. I think it's going to happen, and I'm still conflicted about it but I think it's worth the leap.

I've written about 15 paragraphs now about the other thought I have had to absorb recently, but it's not coming out right today. I'll try again soon.