Non Est Ad Astra Mollis E Terris Via

Wormholes

2010-03-20T19:57:00.000-07:00

I was searching for a book to read tonight. I usually don't have the luxury of reading for pleasure, but my third track-out commenced this morning, and, in-between my exhaustive portfolioing, I think a little Austen might do me good.

As I perused the titles on our various bookshelves, I came across an old leather bound journal. I was never a very good chronicler in my youth. My mother kept me well stocked in lovely volumes, and I would dutifully fill out a page or two and...that was about it. This particular edition is unique in that it has five entries, covering about a 6-year period in my life.

It starts with me talking about friendship and ends with me talking about being a new wife. It goes from my crush on Paul Rudd to my complex relationship with my husband. It starts with me reminiscing about a childhood companion and ends with me discussing how much I dislike a former childhood friend. I amusingly mention having heart palpitations in several entries; I was a little high strung, I guess. I almost want to show it to my students to prove to them that I was young once and also thought the world began and ended with a phone call from a certain boy.

Mostly, the journal gives me pause. I am a few days away from turning 28. I am a full-fledged adult. In that journal, I, like the hoards of teens who came before and after, wanted so badly to grow up so I could experience that lovely break from parental strife and suffocating dependence. I begged for it. Now, I have it. Why don't I feel older? Why don't I feel like that's a 28-year-old woman looking back at me in the mirror? Why don't I feel like I have changed from that precocious, silly girl who wanted to marry someone who looked just like the guy in Clueless?

Perhaps, my chosen career has warped me slightly. I can't grow up because I am surrounded by my miniatures--girls who are equally consumed by the storm and stress of adolescence. I live in a special world--one where you go home to the same boy you fell in love with in high school and where you wake up each day and go back to 10th grade and help comfort a girl crying in the bathroom. I even worship at the feet of a new Mr. Broadhurst each afternoon and ask him about belief and history.

My life is different, too. I am missing people who were with me for those first decades, and I no longer pretend to be a Wizard of Oz tree shaker in the side yard of Den Tree Court. But that girl...that girl who wrote that she wanted to be cuddled by a boy and that she wanted her parents to get along and that she couldn't believe she was getting married in two weeks...that girl is still very much coursing through this increasingly aging body. Is it normal to not change?

'Enery the Eighth, I Am...

2009-07-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

I, like millions of other people fascinated with the English monarchy system, have always enjoyed reading about Henry VIII. He was a pretty interesting guy, and that whole six wives thing was definitely eyebrow raising. Not to mention he catalyzed a religious war in England because he wanted a male heir so bad.

Last Saturday, a friend and I went to Hampton Court Palace. While Cardinal Wolsey (Henry VIII's main advisor in the Catherine of Aragon period) was the one who built it, it was eventually inhabited by the king himself once Wolsey had been demoted. It was here that Anne Boleyn stayed (wife #2), here that Jane Seymour (wife #3) gave birth to the child that would later be known as King Edward VI, and here that Henry married Kathryn Parr (wife #6).

Hampton Court Palace

We were once again lucky to experience a piece of history on a beautiful day, and we took our time investigating the different sections. Oddly enough it was the historical re-enactments that interested me the most. Several character actors were playing the different parts in the marriage of Henry VIII to Kathryn Parr. The man playing Henry was excellent and I even had the opportunity to help him cheat at a game of cards with Thomas Seymour (his third wife's brother and the former flame of Parr herself (and her husband after Henry died)). I also really liked the special exhibit they had on the six wives.

Thomas and Henry, Playing Cards

The Ancient and the Modern

I have often wished that I could go to these places, not just as a tourist, but to sit and read in the gardens. Most of the palaces in England have amazing green spaces, and I feel remiss that I have not had more time to sit in them and just soak in the beauty of these tremendous parks.

We took a boat cruise along the Thames home (around 3 hours). It wasn't as picturesque as the earlier parts of the day since it became much colder and rained a little, but I still enjoyed looking at the crowded banks and imagining a royal barge going much the same route 500 or so years ago.

As for this week, history has been on the backburner as I finish my class responsibilities. Yesterday was the last day of classes, so today we went to see a play (The Monster Under the Bed) at the Polka Theatre and soon we will be meeting up at a pub for our last meal together.

I came home alone today after the theatre, and the one thought that struck me as I was riding an escalator in one of the tube stations was that this place is as familiar to me now as Roanoke. England has become another home to me. England. Who would have imagined....

London By Boat

Final Countdown

2009-07-20T15:41:00.000-07:00

Last week in London! I cannot fathom that I have been in England for over three weeks. My brain just cannot process it. All the sights--the lakes, the hills, the small townships, they all have blended in my mind and I feel like I experienced them in a dream instead of with my own feet, eyes, and hands.

I have had more of a chance to relax in the past few days, but I have also been lulled into a lame duck period where my head is already on vacation back in the states. Three plus weeks of thinking about literature, discussing literature and writing about literature has turned my grey matter into mush. However, I still have one last rewrite to do of my short story, and it needs to happen in the next 24 hours. Hopefully I will rise to the challenge.

I still need to recount my last week or so in London. A week ago Tuesday, we hit all the Winnie the Pooh sites and saw what inspired A.A. Milne to write his stories. Like many of the early 20th century writers, his story is not necessarily a happy one. Just as Charles Dodgson (Lewis Carroll) was barred from having a relationship with the Liddell family after having been such a big part of their lives growing up, just as J.M. Barrie was to become sometimes too involved in the Davies boys' lives and create conflict with at least two of his adopted sons, so too did Christopher Robin, Milne's son, have issues with his father for making him famous through his works. Knowing that Peter Pan's namesake may have committed suicide as a result of a long history of depression that was partially catalyzed by his adopted father's famous story changes the work. But the work is so good; I don't want it to be marred by the truth of its writer and his family. Thus, when I'm playing poohsticks on a small bridge in the woods or watching my professor climb the famous tree in the 100 Aker Wood (sic), I tend to block out the history of the place because the power of those stories has in some ways balanced the pain and suffering that sometimes accompanied their initial publication.

On Wednesday, we went to Egmont Press and met with the heads of their editorial staff. Each year at Hollins, we have an opportunity to interact with people in the "business." My first year we met an agent at HarperCollins, the next we met a literary agent, and now we have actually visited a publishing company itself. This company happens to publish my creative writing teacher's work, so she hooked us up with a great afternoon of lectures and discussion on the children's publishing industry. I always find these meet-ups a little soul crushing because you do start to realize how slim your chances are of becoming published, but they are very nice about it and still try to encourage you to keep at it and see if you have what it takes.

Our last major event last week was to see Rowan Atkinson in a production of Oliver! (exclamation mark is in the title). For those of you who don't recognize the name, you may know him as Mr. Bean. Funny, funny stuff. Not exactly Charles Dicken's Fagin, but he kept us in stitches, and the whole production was a great example of well-executed set design. The pieces flowed so well together, and the kids were adorable. Some of my classmates have been living in the theatre while we've been here. One classmate has seen three plays on top of the three we've gone to for class. I would love to see a performance at the Globe or see an original musical on the London stage, but the tickets are incredibly expensive and there are some things I would like to wait and experience with Bryan.

Technically we had a free weekend after the Oliver! performance. I did enjoy myself on Saturday, but the other two days were a mixture of work and play. I have visited the National Portrait Gallery and Harrods, so I have done some Londony things on my own. Harrods is a frightening place. It's beautiful but I have never been in the vicinity of luxury clothing before. There are some worlds where I will never belong and I can add that department store to the list. I'll stick with Macy's.

The one thing that was on my mind all day today was the fact that Franklin Academy opened its doors to its students this morning. If any of my new students have ventured this way, hello! I will definitely be back on Monday, and I will try to refrain from showing you all 1000 pictures of countryside and ancient buildings. Maybe just 800 or so....

The Sacred Spot in the 100 Aker Wood

Catching Up

2009-07-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

I do find it amusing that now that I have regular internet access and my own room, I'm having a harder time writing blog entries. We just saw so many beautiful things while touring Central and Northern England, and now that we're in London we're all in crunch mode. We only have one more full week of scheduled work, and then I have a day and a half on top of that before departure.

So to recap, we got here on Saturday. Saw the digs, got very happy, bought some groceries and settled in to start response papers and the like. I had a very tough time with my Peter and Wendy one and rewrote it around 5 times so that was a two day affair. However, in the midst of writing short essays, I had a very eventful Sunday.

We started with a trip to "famous" London and attended church at Westminster Abbey. Yes, that place where they crown kings/queens and bury poets. The service was mostly sung, and we got to hear the official choir which is made up of young boys and middle aged men. It was beautiful. Hearing those voices in that space was a very spiritual experience.

Then we encountered a big of a snag on leaving because there was a 10K going on right outside. We were on the Big Ben/Parliament/Westminster side of the street and across was the tube station that we needed to use to get home. The race was funny because I had a serious Hot Fuzz flashback since everyone was racing for their own charities (rather than for one like at home). We saw chickens and a Spider-Man (who stopped to take a picture of Big Ben, very odd), and a man wearing a dress. On our way to the next tube station, we saw the London Movieum and they had a movie/television car show going on outside. We saw the DeLorean and the Ghostbusters' ambulance and the General Lee. Very random but very fun. Finally we returned home and went to Kensington Gardens, where J.M. Barrie initially met up with the Davies family. Our tour guide was in costume, so we got a few stares. The gardens are very large, but it was a sunny day and some very patient people let us all get a solo picture with the Pan.

We then saw a production of Peter Pan in a large circus tent in the back of the gardens. Very high tech and very well performed. I saw Peter Pan performed a few years ago, but this time it was completely different because they did a lot more flying and all the actors were adults. After all that, we went home and crashed. It was a very full day.

Compared with all that fun, Monday was a bit of a bore. We went to our third library (the British Library) and had a workshop on how to use their resources. I have some issues with this particular library because they went through all this information on how to use their stuff but they have made it very difficult for us to get the readers' passes we need to actually retrieve things. We did get to see some original work including a 2nd edition of The Hobbit (the first with the watercolors we saw at the Bodley), one of Lewis Carroll's journals (the one where he described the boat trip with the Liddell girls), and some of Charlotte Bronte's works. After that we went to another library (University College London). There we did get library cards and the full tour but they close at 6PM. Not very convenient. All of these road blocks prompted our critical teacher to completely rework our last few assignments, so we all started to breath a little easier after that because we are not going to be able to get much research done while we're here.

I'll save Tuesday through Thursday for tomorrow. Suffice to say, I am really enjoying London but also wishing I was back by the lake. There are a lot of people in this city right now. A lot.

Fatigue

2009-07-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a few days and they have been wonderfully eventful. I will try to recount my adventures in another day or two when I have caught my breath. The stress of 2.5 weeks of traveling and writing is starting to show itself in the bags under my eyes and my inability to walk two feet without tripping over something.

However, how can I be tired or unhappy when I get to enjoy a dorm suite after weeks of bunk beds and noisy hostels?

How can I be overwhelmed when I get to see Big Ben on a sunny Sunday morning?

How can I be anything but elated when I get to watch a chicken run a 10K after church at Westminster Abbey?

'Nuf said.

Christopher Robin's Favorite Tree

Cities and Walls

2009-07-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

I said goodbye to the lake last night as I read a little from The Amber Spyglass. That part of England is my England. We're in a city again, and I already miss the hills. Our hostel (which is nice but very basic) is on the same street as the Pizza Hut and Burger King. London will probably be more attractive since we're staying in a local college, but I still want to make that sidetrip to Wales if at all possible. The city I'll be visiting is on the Irish Sea and I think it will be a nice goodbye to this wonderful island. We'll see.

Today we went to class, ate our last meal in Ambleside at the classroom tables, and then got on a bus for Hadrian's Wall. The trip was uneventful but the views were spectacular. I can't quite do justice to what we saw, sitting in that bus with large windows, looking down and seeing that we were on the edge of a cliff that dove down into a rocky valley dotted with sheep. It was absolutely breathtaking. Some of the articles we read before we got here suggested that the England described in a lot of popular novels no longer exists. It does in the Lake District. It absolutely does.

We ended up at a Roman Military Museum. The Latin teacher in me came out immediately. It was a little cheesy and I definitely have been to better exhibits, but I still had fun looking at all the Roman artifacts and learning more about Hadrian's Wall itself.

Then we went to the wall and it was a great experience in a different way than I had planned. What was fun was being on there with my friends and taking silly photos and thinking about how imposing it used to be. Unfortunately, as is the case with most Roman ruins, there isn't much left but we had a great moment, sitting on the edge, looking out on the hills and thinking about the divide between the civilized world and the barbarian one. On a side note, there were some crazy sheep on the walk up. They kept making these death rattle noises. Very creepy.

Afterwards, we drove into Newcastle and got settled into our new digs. The hostel has free wi-fi....yay! However our room has two bunk beds and a fun house mirror (my legs have never been so tall!). And no more full English breakfasts. I'm back to peanut butter bread and apples. However, it will probably be a good thing for my heart because I've eaten a lot of hash browns these past two weeks.

Most of us went to an Irish pub tonight (well, a place that called itself an Irish pub) and had dinner. I went for something somewhat authentic--a chicken and mushroom crock pot dish that was super awesome. All my favorite things--chicken, mushrooms, mashed potatoes and cheese. Again, may need to improve the food intake soon.

Now we're relaxing and this old French man keeps trying to talk to us and we don't understand a thing he is saying. I think we got across that we're students studying literature, but I'm not sure. I will probably try to get some writing done tonight. I'm doing well with my critical class, but the creative juices are not flowing. We are traveling so much and have yet to find a place where we can be on a computer and snuggle down. Unfortunately I am not a handwritten manuscript kind of gal so the computer is a necessary tool in all extensive writing exercises. I even use it in class for our small exercises. I know London will provide regular library access and hopefully some comfy chairs and then all my problems will be solved. In the meantime, I'll try to get a page or two written tonight and maybe I'll feel like I've accomplished something.

The Girls on the Wall

Footsteps of the Past

2009-07-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

One of the hardest concepts to absorb during this trip is that a lot of the places we have visited were in habited by the authors we love. Our time in the Lake District has certainly exemplified that since we have visited the Brontes, William Wordsworth, Beatrix Potter, and Arthur Ransome’s old stomping grounds. Visiting the homes of the first three listed there was especially intriguing. Admittedly you are never quite walking the same floors or the same paths as them since the floors have been refurbished over time and the ground has certainly eroded and changed over time. But you can’t help but go numb when you hear the words, “Wordsworth and Ralph Waldo Emerson walked here.”

I certainly don’t feel that the creative abilities of these authors have soaked into my skin as I have looked at their letters, run my fingers over their furniture or sat in their chairs. But it is amazing how much work has gone into preserving their heritages, and the diverse range of individuals who make pilgrimages to their homes. I think it truly puts into perspective how powerful beautiful writing can be and the impact it can have on the world for generations to come.

The Lake District has also been the intermission in our trip between the cities that bookend our studies. We did our time in Oxford and we will be in London on Saturday and spend the last two weeks there. There are definitely some perks to returning to the city—regular wi-fi access, individual rooms, easier access to grocery stores. But I think I will quickly begin to wish I was back here where you are surrounded by beautiful hills, gorgeous lakes, and you are serenaded to sleep by the quiet baaing of the sheep outside your window.

Tomorrow we will retrace the boundaries of the Roman Empire and go visit Hadrian’s Wall. As a soon to be full-time English teacher, there is some irony that this was the year I went back to Rome, and now will see Emperor Hadrian’s Wall for the first time.

A quick look at the sites from open two-story buses and walks along the hills:

Getting My Sea Legs

2009-07-05T16:31:00.000-07:00

When I was a pre-teen, I went to sailing camp. We had several within an hour’s drive of New Bern, and I had asked if I could go away to sleep-away camp since so many of my friends did something similar each summer. So I went to Camp Don Lee, the more affordable of the two camps near my house. The fact that it was a sailing camp was by no means the draw. I just wanted to experience that archetypal adventure of so many people my age.

What followed was a testament to my awkward adolescence. I didn’t mesh with the cool kids because, well, I usually don’t. I spent many hours dreading the high dive (I did eventually overcome this fear). I tipped over a canoe, partly because of my own ineptness and partly because I hated the girl who was in the boat with me. And, finally, I rammed my little sail boat into a local yacht and ripped my sail. I was Camp Don Lee’s worst nightmare.

So today I came full circle when I accompanied an experienced sailor and Robin on a trip around Lake Windermere in Ambleside, England. Robin really wanted to do it because she is presenting on Swallows and Amazons later this week and thought it would be good research (most of the sailing terms in the book went over all our heads). I just wanted to get in a boat since we have a lake so conveniently close.

I actually had a lot of fun. Our instructor, Gary, was one of those philosopher boat men that you think only exist in Hemingway stories. He called me “Michele, ma belle” after the Beatles song and described me as “practical” (he nailed that one, for sure). He was extremely sarcastic and occasionally broke off into random tangents about life and finding one’s passion. I feel privileged to have met him because I definitely think there was a little of my dad in him.

The sailing itself went well too. I took to the tiller pretty well and was starting to anticipate the wind by the time we neared the dock. We also visited the boat house of an old castle along the shore that a rich doctor had built for himself and his new wife in the late 1800s. According to Gary, the man’s new wife decided (on their wedding night when she got her “present”) that she didn’t like it, so they never lived in it. The English call such projects “folly.” That is not an unfamiliar word to Americans, but the English use it quite often to describe frivolous and expensive projects that the rich do for impractical reasons.

I loved being on the water in a non-motorized boat. There were no sounds in our direct vicinity except for the murmur of the wind against the sail and the occasional splash as our boat glided across the water. I’m not going to run out and get my captain’s license tomorrow but I can add sailing to the list of outdoor activities that I enjoy.

I know I’m a different person than I was at Camp Don Lee so many years ago. I have the benefits of experience, the scars from various tragedies, the laugh lines from happy times, and the increased brain function that comes from trying to decipher Chip Sullivan’s feelings toward your written work. I have, in short, grown up. Not so much that I can’t discuss the merits of the Disney film Emperor’s New Groove with a favorite student, but I am certainly an adult. There are times, like today, when I am completely content with the adult that I have become.

Some Assorted Pictures

2009-07-05T16:08:00.001-07:00

Our wonderful sailboat.

Sunset on the hills of Haworth, England.

Bad photography thanks to "back woods" English ladies.

Outside of Haworth Hostel.

The evil ride at Cadbury World. Scary stuff.

My bed (lower one) at the Oxford Hostel.

The stairs (so many stairs!) at the Oxford Hostel.

A dog that smiles in Haworth, England.

The Bronte Parsonage, almost as it was....

The hostel stairs in Haworth, England.

The boat dock of a rather young castle in Ambleside, England.

The yachts lining a dock in Ambleside, England.

A pretty bridge at the Oxford Botanical Gardens.

Me and the man himself, Philip Pullman.

English Countryside (Finally)

2009-07-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

When one thinks of England, one usually channels Jane Austen movies. Lots of grass-covered hills, wind-swept moors, and ancient stone buildings with nothing around them for miles. I finally found that part of England yesterday. We drove away from Oxford and suddenly there were stone walls for miles, perfectly square fields and sheep grazing in the grass.

Ahhh....

We went to Sarehole Mill first where Tolkien grew up. He didn't have a very easy childhood. His father died in S. Africa (where he was born) when he was taking a trip to England, and his mother also died from complications with diabetes when he was still quite young. He lived with an unhappy aunt, in various boarding homes under a certain priest's guardianship, and finally on his own in Oxford. Despite the hardship, Tolkien had quite the playground to enjoy as a child and the thick forests, green bogs, fierce fords, and tall buildings that surrounded his early home may certainly have played a part in his later works. There was even a pair of tall towers in town that may have influenced him when he was writing a certain trilogy....

However, it's all conjecture, and I, nor the tour guide, can really say for certain what influenced him and what didn't, but he grew up in an area that was certainly reminiscent of the Middle Earth he created in his novels.

We then traveled to Birmingham where we visited the Cadbury Chocolate Factory. Free chocolate. Good. Really lame rides through psycho chocolate-man town. Not so good. We enjoyed the historical portions but some of it was down-right creepy. And not Gene Wilder creepy because that would have been OK. Unfortunately you don't really get to see much of the manufactoring first hand, and I felt really sorry for the factory workers who have to watch people walk past them all day. Then the Cadabra ride. Oh man. My fellow riders and I were supposed to make funny faces when they did the automatic picture at the end. However, I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO DID IT. The picture that resulted is one of the most frightening images of me I have encountered, and I spent the next fifteen minutes bent over laughing. I look like a troll. I can't even post it on here because if someone who didn't like me got their hands on it, I would probably see it again...perhaps in a less flattering setting. Sorry, folks. If you want to see it, I might have to get you to sign a waver or something.

We then took a really long bus ride to Haworth. However, that's when we really got to see the hills of England. Gorgeous! If I could live in England, I would definitely want to live near Haworth. Our hostel was the best yet; it looked like an ancient boarding house with a huge, grand staircase, stained glass windows everywhere, and a English charm that made us swoon. Robin and I took a really long walk up one of the adjacent hills and we met two lovely English women. We tried to get them to take a picture of us but they were not familiar with digital cameras and they had the hardest time figuring out how to use mine. One woman finally got a picture, but she did it just as Robin was smacking her forehead in amusement (it was a great day for pictures). The other woman took over and took a picture with my right side cut off. Failed effort but a great story.

We had a late night pizza with our main professor, Julie, and talked about marriage and literature and England. It was nice and apparently entertaining because a fellow guest was in the room and commented on how "interesting" our conversation was as he was going to bed. At least he was honest about listening in. I guess.

In the morning we went to Haworth proper and saw the Bronte parsonage where the entire Bronte troop grew up. Sometimes I marvel at how one family can have so much talent. The Sedaris' are all really funny and peculiar. The Williams sisters dominate the tennis world. And the Brontes could all magically write amazing novels (or paint amazing pictures or both). Their story is a tragic one and it was interesting to walk the fields nearby, see the couch where Emily (of Wuthering Heights fame) died, and see the rooms where their famous works were created. The town itself should be renamed Bronteworth because almost every establishment is named after the family or the books (they apparently had a Jane Hair salon once upon a time). However, it was very picturesque and I would love to see it again some day.

Finally one more bus ride and now we're in Ambleside, England. To my left is Lake Windermere and a host of sailboats. It rained on and off today, but, no matter the weather, the sky was a beautiful mixture of blues and grays and greens. I can see why English people vacation here (including Philip Pullman). Tomorrow Robin and I will rent some sort of boat and paddle around during our first free day. In the meantime, I have to write something for class and continue reading for my paper. We may be traveling the countryside and enjoying ourselves immensely, but we are still doing quite a bit of work.

Tomorrow I'll just post pictures so you can get a better idea of what's going on. Our room is up a maze of stairwells and I left my camera upstairs. And that is where it will stay until tomorrow.

By the way, the weather finally broke and it's been extremely pleasant the past two days. I am one very lucky girl.

A Dream Come True

2009-07-02T13:52:00.000-07:00

Today my favorite author answered all my questions. He told us about his work, what he likes to read, and what he thinks his books mean. He said many brilliant things, and I wish I could quote him because no one can put it like he can, but there are two things that I think are worth paraphrasing. He said that children can read anything if they like something about it. No matter how complicated His Dark Materials has become over time, he says that children will still read it because they love Lyra and that anything important to Lyra will naturally be important to them. He said that he would give a 10-year-old a quantum mechanics book if he thought he/she would have even the slightest interest in it. He also said that the most important thing we can do for children is read nursery rhymes to them. He said that sitting a child in one’s lap and reading those beautiful poems to them will help them love language long before they enter a classroom. By igniting that love in them at a young age, we will be that much closer to getting them to read once they are too big for our laps.

It was exactly what we all wanted. He was charming and intelligent and very generous in his responses. We got some insights into his world and sharing that beautiful tea room with him for two hours was the experience of a lifetime. Also, he brought his personal alethiometer. The one he had a jeweler make for him. We got to play with it.

We capped the evening with a trip to the Botanic Gardens where Lyra and Will would “meet” in their separate Oxfords once a year to remember their love for one another. Erin, Carly and I were walking around and we saw Tolkien’s favorite tree (which we noticed before we even knew what it was because it was just that cool).

We then passed by a bench and I made the comment that it was the perfect bench for the book because it was a little tucked away and looking out on a portion of a water garden. I even said, “I could see thinking about someone I love in a space like this.” We continued on our way and later realized that we couldn’t find the right bench. After consulting our maps, we realized it was the bench we had talked about earlier. Good choice, Mr. Pullman!

Overall, it was a great last day in Oxford. We had an amazing time here and saw sights related to Wind in the Willows, Harry Potter, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, and His Dark Materials. We spoke to an inspiring modern author, drank tea on the grass next to a world famous Regatta, and saw Tolkien’s personal illustrations for The Hobbit. If my trip was ending tomorrow, I would be satisfied.

Tomorrow we go to Haworth and will see some Tolkien sites. Then we’ll go to the Cadbury Chocolate Factory and channel Roald Dahl for a few hours. We’ll be traveling by bus and lugging our lovely luggage around with us (which for me has grown slightly), but we’re all ready for a change of scenery. And weather (fingers crossed).

Sculling Along the River

2009-07-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

Tonight I sat by the Thames and read from The Subtle Knife. I think it’s a fitting way to spend the evening before I meet the man himself—Philip Pullman. All of my classmates are excited to meet him, and I’m sure I’m not that much more excited than they are, but I may be a little. After all, I have been a fan of Pullman’s since I first read The Golden Compass. He was the first modern writer to really pull me in, and we share a lot of the same philosophies, which makes the connection that much stronger.

I’ll hopefully pull (ha, ha) myself together tomorrow and sound reasonable in my questioning. We’ll see….

As for today, we started with a wonderful lecture by Peter Hunt (British children’s lit. guru) on Alice and Wind in the Willows. He is one of those darling British men who mumbles under his breath and spouts brilliance every five seconds. It was a great experience, and he accompanied us on the next phase of our journey which was to travel to Henley on the Thames and experience our first Regatta.

Apparently, as a part of the British “seasons,” aristocrats travel to Henley at the beginning of July for a five-day regatta that features 4 and 8-person rowing teams from all over the world. The men wear their college blazers that can be all shades of the rainbow and some even have lovely vertical stripes. The women dress up and wear little flying things on their heads. We were a little out of our element and it was blazing hot, but we got through it and had tea in one of the tents. I did try the hot tea, with one sugar cube and some milk; I, unsurprisingly, did not like it. I did also have some tea sandwiches and my first scone. Was not expecting it to be like a biscuit. However, the cream and fruit inside were much better than a Bo’ Berry. I also tried Pimms which is a famous English beverage that tastes like orange soda.

We made it through tea and ventured inside a rare bookstore which had a 1st edition of The Hobbit for a mere 45,000 pounds (around $75,000). We also saw a 1st edition of Peter and Wendy and some original artwork from The Wind in the Willows. It was a neat surprise.

Then we caught the train, and I went for my little reading excursion. The Thames portions near my hostel are interesting. There is graffiti all along the walls of the townhomes on the river but the bank is covered in wildflowers. The bench I sat on was surrounded by trash and cigarette remains, but in front of me were two adult swans, two young swans, and a dozen ducks of various colorings. I did a little bird watching and saw a duck eat out of an elderly man’s hand on the bench next to me. All that nature and all that destruction in one small place. That is Oxford in a nutshell. There is so much beauty here but so much commercialization. You have to learn to watch the swans and ignore the trash.

Tolkien is the Man

2009-06-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

I have now spent two full days in Oxford. I think, looking back on this trip some day, I won’t remember how hot it was but at this exact moment, I am very aware of how incredibly sticky I am at this moment. You might find my surprise intriguing because it is the end of June and one would expect it to be hot. Well, even the people who live here are surprised by the heat. It was supposed to be in the seventies but it’s been in the nineties and humid. It’s not so bad walking around the city because there is usually a nice breeze but inside our non-air conditioned hostel…that’s another story.
However, I am not going to be a whiny American. I can survive without air conditioning for four weeks; I would just prefer to be typing this piece on a bench outside Exeter College. However that’s not exactly safe when I still don’t have my bearings around the city yet and no one else wants to do anything similar. So hot hostel it is.
Today was very surreal. We had our creative writing class in the morning. I sense that we will not be overloaded with writing assignments in there. She is looking for us to write at our own pace, whatever that might be. Since my writing habits are still very sketchy and inconsistent, I’m not sure what that will mean for me.
Then we went to the Bodleian Library and had a special tour through their special collections. I don’t have pictures because they don’t let you take pictures but it was amazing. I saw, firsthand, J.R.R. Tolkien’s original watercolors for The Hobbit. I saw a page that he wrote himself that was from The Lord of the Rings trilogy. We saw his scribbles and personal photographs. All the real deal. We also saw one of C.S. Lewis’ personal notebooks and his version of the map of Narnia. They said that no one gets to look at the originals and even visiting scholars usually only look at copies. In addition, they showed us some early pieces of children’s literature including the oldest hornbook still in existence and an extremely old chapbook. Then we got a special tour through the tunnel that connects the New and Old Bodleians. In the older building, we went up to a special reading room with texts from the 1400s. The room itself was built during Queen Elizabeth’s reign and has remained mostly intact. I cannot believe sometimes that I am experiencing places where King Henry VIII walked or where J.R.R. Tolkien had his lunch. For dinner, we went to The Eagle and Child, where the Inklings (among whom were Tolkien and Lewis) used to meet for breakfast every Tuesday. I had my first plate of fish and chips there and reveled in the glory that is Oxford.
What’s been interesting is how seriously we are being taken by the faculty and staff at these various prestigious libraries and colleges. Children’s Literature is still a growing field in the US, so I still get some raised eyebrows when I say I’m studying it. Even in Oxford they have some issues with its rising popularity as a field of study. Despite the number of famous authors who have studied or taught at Oxford, they still feel that it’s not quite up there with Shakespeare. However, we have had the opposite experience with the people we have met. Yesterday we were taught about how children’s literature was impacted by authors rowing along the Thames, and our tour guide in Oxford proper was able to show us several significant spots among the colleges that we have read about in our various favorites. Today took the cake though because we felt like privileged guests, and the people who lectured for us were incredibly knowledgeable and inspiring. I am so happy that I have had the chance to experience all of this firsthand and it was totally worth the two weeks of craziness that led up to it.
Tomorrow is the rowing museum and tea at a regatta. It’s a Wind in the Willows inspired day and I hope I’ll be able to see more British countryside. Now I have to get some work done for class tomorrow and try to write the beginnings of a fairy tale. I’ll leave you with a copy of what I got to see today:

Computer Difficulties

2009-06-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

Current Location: Youth Hostel, Oxford, England

So the bummer of our current accomodations is that we only have wi-fi access in the lobby, and we have to buy stuff from the cafe to access it (one hour per purchased item). We also don't have AC here and it's been rather warm so I'm burning up right now as I type this. Thus, I'll mostly be posting pictures for the next few days until we find ourselves in better circumstances. However, I saw amazing things today and feel very much content with all that I'm learning/experiencing right now.

A fun take on my former Latin duties (Eat Latin, Drink Latin) down the street from our hostel.

Harry Potter's Great Hall (However, before that, it was and is the dining hall of Christ Church College in Oxford).

Alice's Window as part of the stained glass at Christ Church's Dining Hall. Charles Dodgson (Lewis Carroll--the man who wrote Alice's Adventures in Wonderland) was a math teacher at the school and Alice Liddell's (the girl who inspired Dodgson to write down the tales) father was the head of the college.

The steps leading up the dining room that have also been witness to some film crews for the HP films. These are the steps that the students wait on before going into the Great Hall.

Radcliffe Camera (a part of the Bodleian Library). We'll be doing an extensive tour of the library tomorrow and seeing some of their rare book collection (exciting for English majors, not so much for everyone else).

The backside of a T-Rex. It hasn't been all English all the time around here.

Our little boat crew on the Thames.

One of the boats that we took on the Thames.

The Thames at dusk.

The path we took to get to the boat dock.

More pictures to come when this computer stops being annoying.

The 'Shire

2009-06-28T14:18:00.000-07:00

Current Location: Youth Hostel, Oxford, England.

I'm here. That's the good news. To be honest, there really isn't any bad news other then the fact that my eyes are worn out from being open for so long and I know I have a presentation to make tomorrow.

However, a good night's rest will fix that. Very soon.

In the meantime, I would like to recount my adventures for posterity. Bryan and I had our tearful goodbye (OK, I was crying and he was looking awkward), and I went through security without being violated by any of the airline folks.

Our Last Picture Together Before the Flight

Then, as I was sitting near the gate, I overhead some kids talking about taking courses in Oxford. I struck up a conversation and found out they were NCSU students who were doing the study abroad option in Oxford this summer. I met a few English majors and we chatted about favorite professors and what we would be studying in Oxford. They were all very jealous of the Pullman meet-up. I also met one of my new colleagues' former students. What's interesting is that this teacher and I had talked about the fact that me and this girl Becka were going to Oxford around the same time...and lo and behold...there she was, sitting by my feet outside gate C23 in the RDU terminal.

Becca and I

On the plane, I sat next to a very nice German woman named Claudia with whom I spent the next four hours discussing American versus German culture. She is a Biologist in RDU and was doing some business traveling but she spoke excellent English and we talked about everything from our countries' different education systems to gun control policies in the US.

At first I was nervous that I would be bored traveling alone but I had some good conversations with a range of individuals and the time went pretty fast. The biggest issue was when I did finally try to get some sleep on the plane. Hands down, international overnight airline travel is impossible. I got about two fitful hours of sleep and woke up in worst shape than before I went to sleep. I don't know what's so hard about making some seats go back just a little further...but I survived and made it to London.

After a really long wait to get through the passport check, I got my bag, put all my belongings on a handy dandy trolley (how HP of me!) and made my way to the bus terminal. I didn't have any issues getting myself on the right bus, getting off at the right stop and walking the couple blocks to the hostel (although I was almost taken out by a street sweeper on my way to the hostel).

Upon arrival I quickly found some classmates and took a nice walk around the neighborhood.

I'm in England! (requiste cheesy England photo)

Last Minute Everything

2009-06-26T18:02:00.000-07:00

I would rather not think about all that I have had to do in the past two weeks. Reading over ten novels. Ugh. Already writing a paper. Bleh. Preparing a presentation for the first day of class. Eek.

OK, so I guess I have thought about it a little.

The upside is that tomorrow I get to fly to England. By myself. Surprisingly, for a woman nearing 30, I have never flown by myself. I have always had a friend, a parent or a spouse next to me. So this is a new adventure on many levels.

Problem is that I haven't packed yet. Ha. Just typing that makes me giggle a little. I have classmates who have been packed for over a month. Their bags are just sitting in the corner of their rooms somewhere, in complete anticipation of their future journeys.

Me, not so much. Admittedly I did travel to Italy and France a little more than 2 months ago and I packed the night before for that one too. Except in that scenerio I had to be up early. Tomorrow, I don't leave until 6PM, so I feel I have a little cushion. Also, in that particular trip, I had to accompany a lot of young people which added to my anxiety quite a bit. This time, it's just me, myself and...well, you get the drift.

So I'm still feeling OK about things at the moment. Enough that I am typing my anticipatory journal entry right now (instead of packing) as I wait for my presentation handouts to print...one...at...a...time.

Of course, there is a bittersweetness to all the excitement. I'm leaving my home for a month. I haven't spent a summer in Raleigh since 2006, and I do long for the day when I can sit in my backyard in July and drink a glass of lemonade with a book of MY CHOOSING.

However, I am thrilled to be finishing my graduate coursework in a place that has been pulling at my sleeve since I first read The Dark is Rising sequence so very long ago. Even if it lives up to half my expectations, it will be the experience of a lifetime.

Taking Off

2009-04-03T19:52:00.000-07:00

I'm about to embark on my first excursion abroad with STUDENTS! The fact that I'm returning to Italy and France has yet to dawn on me. Instead I'm consumed with thoughts about passports and young people packing too much and sleep deprived teenagers trying to appreciate the grandeur of the Colosseum.

Wait, I get to see the Colosseum again.

Awesome.

I have no idea what this experience is going to be like. Backpacking with Bryan was fun and a little scary but I was so relieved to be a college graduate that I didn't dwell too much on the "what ifs..."

Now I have, along with my fellow chaperones, 23 young people relying on me to get them to Rome tomorrow.

There are so many "what ifs."

Change

2008-12-19T20:15:00.000-08:00

My dad was a lover of change. He would change his hobbies...I alone saw him run the gambit of surfing, golf, hunting, sport fishing, guitar, and several others. He changed his address a few times. He did marry more than once. He always had an itch to do things a little differently.

I have noticed, since I became an "adult," that I have a similar instinct. Those that are close but not too close to me might be surprised by such a suggestion. I have been married to the same man for 7.5 years and I went to school and am now employed in the career that I decided upon while I was still in high school. The most exciting Ms. DeCamp has gotten was when she went for stretch of two years with highlights in her hair.

However, I still have big dreams. Not to change my partner or my profession but to make sure what I do is as worthwhile as possible and that I don't allow myself to fall into the step of a path that will not bring me satisfaction.

I've applied a pretty powerful magnifying glass to some of my choices recently and I have discovered something. I have allowed myself (and chosen, at certain points) to drift into a professional quagmire that I need to unravel in the coming year. I know there are no perfect schools, but there are subjects that are more in tune with my true gifts, and I need to stop hiding from the field that I excelled in during high school and college and see what I can bring to the table I should be sitting at in August. I think it's going to happen, and I'm still conflicted about it but I think it's worth the leap.

I've written about 15 paragraphs now about the other thought I have had to absorb recently, but it's not coming out right today. I'll try again soon.

Saying Goodbye

2008-07-25T18:46:00.000-07:00

I'm going to break down my Hollins semester in more detail when I get back home, but, before our sleepover begins in earnest, I wanted to recount a few of the highlights of the day:

We hiked up to the top of Sharp Top Mountain this afternoon, and, on the way, we encountered this very tame doe (which we named July). Robin has the pictures of him licking my arm.

We made it up to the top. When we saw the mountain later from the Parkway it was amazing to think we had climbed all the way to the summit. Michelle and Robin held up admirably, and I'm sure I've instilled a life-long love of hiking mountains in them. :-) Or maybe not.

It was a beautiful, perfect conclusion to this experience.

So, until I return home, valete!

I'm Alive!

2008-07-24T22:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am alive. I took a week hiatus, not out of desire, but out of necessity. You see, I've been a little busy. Let me recount the past few days:

Saturday: Got up at the crack of dawn, sang a little, read a lot, and basked in some warm fuzzies. The conference was wonderful and I enjoyed reading my paper to an audience (I even did the voices!). All of that excitement eventually died down and I spent the last four or five hours working on a Roman history timeline. I think I went to bed around 4AM or something ridiculous.

Sunday: Got up and worked on my Roman picture book from around 9AM until 3AM. I'm serious. I sat on a stool for over eight hours just manipulating stuff on Word. Then I had to go back to my room and manipulate the same stuff one more time. While watching Gladiator for inspiration.

Monday: Got up early again and had to go to Kinko's to print everything off. Had some issues but Robin kept me calm. I finished everything for my picture book about 5 minutes before class began. Presented said book in class, got positive feedback and then went home to read all my classmates' stories for workshop the next day. Also typed up guidebook for next year's entertainment chairs.

Tuesday: Woke up early, wrote 6-7 pages of a new picture book I'm working on, helped out with a picture book workshop, met with resident scholar Philip Nel and had my head deflated a little, and then did a fast and furious critique before class that night. Came home from class and crashed. After reading another three stories and making comments.

Wednesday: Again, woke up earlier than I would have liked, did the rest of my critiques, went to last picture books class and then came home and did revisions all night.

Thursday: Got up, met with my picture books professor to get one more book signed and then went for an extensive walk around campus to get pictures and reflect on my 2008 experience. Went to my last meeting as a committee chairperson and then did another couple hours of story revision. Went to class.

And then I was done. Finally.

I'm not kidding when I say that I haven't worked this hard in a while. Which is hilarious to me because I spend an extraordinary amount of time doing my job during the school year, but this gig takes the cake. That Roman picture book alone took around 30 hours (maybe more) to complete.

But I survived, and I received great marks for my efforts. And now I have nothing to worry about anymore. However, I don't feel weird about it like I did last year. This year I'm just relieved. I'm so thankful that tomorrow I get to go hiking with my friends, eat some good food, reminisce a little and then have a final sleepover before I embark for Bryan and home on Saturday.

I really need a break over the next few days. I'm sure I'll be itching to be back in the classroom by Wednesday, but, for right now, I just want to bask in the glory that is another semester of graduate school in the bag.

Tomorrow

2008-07-18T16:12:00.001-07:00

We're (of course I mean Robin, Michelle and myself) watching The Outsiders downstairs and I'm avoiding looking at the PowerPoint that is supposed to go with my presentation tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will do my first public reading of my critical work. I'm actually not that nervous; teaching has cured me of stage fright. However, I do want to say all the words correctly and give some emphasis to my argument. I want people to be interested more than anything, and these critical essays are real hit or miss. Last year I was able to understand a few of them, but others were a little too obtuse without having the paper right in front of you to follow along.

Today, I really faced the reality that as much I sometimes feel stressed and overwhelmed by my responsibilities, there are people out there that are way harder on themselves and are even more stressed than I am. After a few conversations with some of my classmates, I'm starting to feel like I'm one of the more relaxed people here. Bizarre.

But I mostly can thank Robin and Michelle for that. They have been my salvation during these past 5 weeks, and I am very fortunate to have met such wonderful women. Only a week left, but I will try to make the most of it.

Brain Dead

2008-07-16T18:49:00.000-07:00

It's very hard to blog right now because my life is consumed by a picture book. And that, well, that's just boring.

Some computer savvy person would probably scoff at my angst over having to create a 32-page text, but it's pain-staking, and I don't think about much else these days.

Well, I do think about getting through Saturday (Seussical performance and critical paper reading), and then I think about Monday afternoon when this beast will be done. And knowing that when I eat dinner on Monday that I will be done, well, that's a very nice thought.

I'll have a few things left to work out, but it will be a piece of cake compared to this past week of photoshopping and photo studioing and photo illustrating. Ugh.

On a random note, I am pretty mad at my state legislature for threatening to raise our co-pays on our medical plan because they are seriously lacking in the forward planning department. I get paid so little for what I do--do I really need to pay $50 to go see a dermatologist? Or $35 to get a drug that I need every month? And they dropped our raise from 6% to 3%. Economic downturns are like dominoes, everything is touched somewhere in the process and no one can get back up again once that first piece falls.

On a happier note, I have discovered a nice little diversion. Joss Whedon's new web show, Dr. Horrible. It's hilarious and comes at a time when I need a little fun injected into my day. Plus I love Nathan Fillion from his days on Firefly. And I love Joss Whedon's writing. And even Neil Patrick Harris has gotten cooler with age after his stints in the Harold and Kumar movies. It's only available until July 20th at www.drhorrible.com, so go check it out quick if you're interested in having a laugh.

But now, Q calls, and I must return to picture book land. Sigh.

Mountain Paradise

2008-07-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

My camera is battery-less right now, so I can't post pictures yet of my lovely weekend with Bryan, but just imagine a mountainous landscape, a well-constructed camp site, and two very well fed spouses.

It was relaxing and perfect and fulfilling in a way that nothing in my professional life can top. I would like to say it re-energized me for my last two weeks here, but...

that would be a little bit of a lie.

However, I'm making progress, and I have a timeline in my head that keeps me going. Get to Saturday and this will be over. Make it to Monday and that other thing will be over. And in 11 days, I will get to pack up my stuff and return home.

I really do appreciate all that I am learning here, but it is unnatural to be this removed from daily life. I try to create a routine with my classes and gym visits and conference duties, but it never quite matches the satisfaction I get from my husband, my career and my little life in Raleigh.

But I do believe that it is good for me to push myself in this way because I doubt I ever take much time when I'm in Raleigh to reflect on how good I have it. How much joy Bryan brings to my life. Or how grateful I am for my students and the unique challenges my job affords me.

And how wonderful it is to be able to go to bed and not worry that some beetle is going to make a home in your hair while you catch some Z's.

Woo-hoo!

2008-07-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Michele!

Congrats, your submission "A Familiar Quest" was chosen to be read at the conference. Please email an electronic file of your submission to Ellen and Leslie (see address in CC of this email) by 9:00 a.m. tomorrow (Saturday).

Also, please time your piece by reading it out loud to someone and send me the time by noon on Tuesday. Please do not guess or estimate your time. Reading it out loud and having an accurate time is necessary for conference planning.

Thank you and Congratulations!
Stephanie

Well, that kind of makes the 7+ hours I spent revising my submissions worth it. :-)

One More Day

2008-07-10T06:59:00.001-07:00

I am feeling better. My ears still feel "moist," so I will be avoiding the pool today but I think I'll make it through the last two weeks. On Tuesday night, I went to bed at midnight (quite an accomplishment for me) and then last night I went to bed at 4AM again. Sigh.

Right now my life is occupied with the looming academic conference and getting my dummy started for my picture books class. I need to finalize what I will sending as submissions to the conference reading committee and I have four rehearsals to run/attend before next Saturday. In addition, I have roughly a week and a half to get my picture book in shape, so I'm trying to pace myself a little so if I stay up until 5AM it won't be because I HAVE to.

Mostly my mind is fixated on seeing Bryan tomorrow. This will be the first time we have more than 24 hours to see each other and we've never gone camping while I was here, so it will be a new experience in many respects. Being with Bryan makes me feel so normal. I have a tendency to get so invested in everything I do, and he is the only one who can pull me out of the trance-like state I find myself in sometimes. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be here for 6 weeks and never see him.

Since I can't swim, I'm going to go on a bike ride this morning. Here is a snippet from an adapted version of the first chapter of my novel:

So I went to a place called Hair Champs to get my hair dyed. I’m not a high maintenance gal so the implications of attending a $7.99 haircut place for a major cosmetic transformation did not occur to me. I walked in with a purpose—I knew the colors and had a picture of the cut I wanted. However, I ended up with an artiste.

“Can I help you?” a foreign-looking woman behind the counter had asked. She had enormous breasts. I’m sorry, but that was the first thing I noticed about her. Her v-neck blouse gave me an eyeful as I walked up to the counter. And just to clarify, I am not gay. My mom thought I was for a while, but that’s a different story.

“Um, I want to get my hair cut and colored,” I said, holding the picture up for her to see.

“Well,” she began in an accent that I recognized as Russian-esque, “I think we can do something for you; you will like.” She began to lead me to a station on the right side of the room.

“I want this,” I said again, jabbing my finger at the photograph of Ashlee Simpson that I had clipped from my mom’s copy of InStyle magazine. I walked over to her station and saw that it was very minimalist with a few hair products and that jar of blue gel they put combs in scattered across the counter. My eyes were mostly drawn towards the picture of a young blond girl doing a split taped to the mirror.

Her eyes registered what I was looking at. “Oh, that’s my daughter, Alexa. She’s cheerleader. Very good. She is even on All-Star team.”

“That’s…great,” I said, with an over-the-top smile. “By the way, what was your name again?” Her blouse didn’t have enough material to put a nametag on, obviously.

“It’s Elly, short for Elvira.” Elvira? The Mistress of the Dark? I just couldn’t believe how much sense that made. Big breasts. Big hair. I had a celebrity impersonator for a hairdresser.

“Wow, that’s unusual,” I said, lifting my jaw up from the floor.

“Very common in Russia,” she said while she brushed stray hairs from the chair in front of me.

“So, what do you think of my plan?” I asked, gesturing back to the photograph.

“Yes, yes, but I will make it work with your head. It is, how do you say, squatty.”

“My head is squatty,” I repeated as I looked at myself in her mirror. While I contemplated my head shape, I heard the chatter of the hairdressers behind me. Apparently they had all taken the same boat over here because I heard an inordinate amount of v-sounds. I felt like I was in the cockpit of Air Force One in that Harrison Ford movie.

“Let me take better look,” she said as she grabbed my shoulders and shoved me into the black vinyl seat. “Yes, mm-hmm, I know what we will do. What colors did you want it to be?”

“Well, I want it be black …” I began but I became distracted by her long red fingernails combing my scalp. I think she was testing the weight of my hair, but I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to feel like my head was getting raked like a big pile of fall leaves. I slouched a little in the chair to distance myself from her claws and finished, “With blue stripes somewhere towards the front.”

“Black and blue?” She chuckled a little; the American expression was apparently not foreign to her.

“Yeah, just call me a Duke fan, I guess,” I said with a guffaw. She stopped laughing and just stared at me in the mirror with a look of confusion on her face.

Fatigue

2008-07-08T20:09:00.000-07:00

I seem to have reached my breaking point. I'm really tired. I've been exercising so much and working so much and stressing so much that my body is now fighting me a little. So I'm going to critique two stories and then call it a night. Maybe a night that ends before midnight will do me some good. We'll see what happens tomorrow. My hope is that I just need a good night's sleep and I'll be right as rain the morning. Well, let me put it another way, I will be right as rain in the morning. :-)

My main fear is that my equilibrium is off because of all the swimming I've been doing. I'm prone to ear infections anyway so I knew that I might be playing with fire by spending so much time in the pool, but I'm hoping it's something will right itself without antibiotics or $60 urgent care visits getting involved.

So think happy thoughts for me and wish me wellness...not just for Bryan's sake this weekend but also so I can finish my to-do list before next Saturday. :-)

Diversion

2008-07-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

Even while I'm in the midst of one of the toughest academic semesters of my existence, I am happy to see that I can still find life amusing.

For instance, Nicole Kidman named her new daughter, Sunday. She was born on a Monday. How many times do you think that poor little girl will get asked if she was born on a Sunday?

Other than that, I'm at a loss. Three days until camping. That's all I've got to say. And about 12 days until I regain my sanity.

Yep.

Fairy Tales

2008-07-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

(Warning: Robin, you may not want to read this since you already got an earful last night.)

Last night Robin and I watched Enchanted. At first I was cracking up. Ha ha. Disney is poking fun at its silly princesses and their shallow relationships. And then the princess gets transported to the real world and discovers that life is not so perfect.

So far, so good.

Now, I know this is a Disney film and I shouldn't have been expecting a postmodern rewrite of their entire canon. I also know it is geared towards children. However...

In the "real" world (I use that term loosely as you'll soon see), a father is giving his daughter a book on important women in history. Sure, she wants a princess book, but he is trying to teach her that real women don't just sit by windowsills and sing. They work, invent, and use their brains.

Nice.

This father is about to propose to a "real" woman; they have a good relationship but it's not showy, head over heels or anything. They love and respect one another.

OK.

Then the father meets the princess and suddenly we have a complete reversal. She doesn't learn that life is not a fairy tale--she turns REAL LIFE INTO A FAIRY TALE. People are dancing in Central Park. The father who made fun of the princess for falling in love in ONE day, falls in love with her in TWO days. True love's kiss saves the princess from death. And then the princess and the father exchange their significant others and end up together. The working woman who was so happy when the father injected a little romance into their relationship, happily goes to the cartoon world to become the pea-brained prince's princess. And the original princess in question? She cleans the father's house, cooks meals for the family, takes the daughter shopping and to a spa, and then finishes the film dancing around the father's apartment with her new family.

Now, I'm losing my mind.

Are you kidding me? They make fun of the whole premise and then do it all over again!!!! I thought this was supposed to be different; instead they made it worse because they had intelligent women and even they all jumped onto the romance/fantasy bandwagon.

Why, Disney? Why?

I know I sound cynical, but I would just like ONE MOVIE that actually gives these kids realistic expectations. I know nobody wants to see a normal relationship on the big screen, but did it have to be so shallow and perfect? Princesses are great. Fairy tales can be great. Dreaming is, of course, wonderful. But these little girls need to know that it is possible to be happy in the real "real world" too. It doesn't have to all be an elaborate fantasy. I have friends who are in their mid-twenties and single and frustrated. These types of movies where real relationships are quickly pushed aside for bimbo princesses don't help.

I know I'm fortunate to have a marriage that brings so much joy to my life, and I can see someone being confused by my reaction to these kinds of films considering how storybook some aspects of my life have been, but falling in love with Bryan in high school was hard. We were so immature at times and we had to deal with the realities of being teenagers in love. He is my other half, but I would never tell any future children of ours that it's perfect all the time. That falling in love is easy. That a kiss can make everything right and save the day. That CLEANING A HOUSE AND COOKING A MEAL AND WEARING A PRETTY DRESS WILL MAKE MEN LIKE YOU.

Good gracious.

Am I going to have to deal with this issue every year I'm here?

Revision

2008-07-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

I feel so much better. I have spent the last 2+ hours revising a critical essay from last year and it feels so good to be sitting in this library, in a comfortable chair, looking out at the mountains and dealing with words that don't have to be beautiful. The focus is on the argument--not the setting or the characterization or the metaphors you deem to include.

I love writing creative works, but it is so hard to do it here when you have to be on spot all the time. Be. Creative. Now. Write a perfect short story. Now. Create a publisher-worthy picture book. Now. Admittedly my classes don't make me feel that way in a direct manner, but when you're getting graded on the creative works you turn in, you don't want them to be crap.

Whereas with critical papers, you just have to have the right ideas. Sure, you have to put the words together nicely but the two tend to go hand in hand for me. If I have a good idea, I'll find a way to write it. I suspect that I will shy away from creative courses in the future (besides the one I am doing in London next year) and focus on writing at home where I can arrange my thoughts at whatever pace I desire. I have enough writer friends that I think I will be able to workshop my stuff without too much difficulty. I will miss reading everyone else's stuff (definitely a perk of a creative writing class), but I feel so out of my element this semester and I need to regain my sanity. Sooner than later, I hope.

As for tonight, Mexican food with Robin (yay!). And a little time off the reservation (mucho importante).

Sound and Fury

2008-07-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

Today did not feel like a national holiday. Maybe it's our isolated campus, but until 9PM when the fireworks started going off in the different corners of Roanoke, I could not tell that today was any different than yesterday.

I started the day by doing laundry. Well, scratch that, I started by reading some chapters of New Moon, the second book in the Twilight "saga." I finished it this evening. Yep, I read a 550+ page book in a day. I gave all three of them to my friend Robin to hide until I finish some of my projects. My sister was nice enough to supply me with the sequels, but I want to hold out on the 3rd one until I have made more progress on the work I HAVE to do here. I will say the 2nd one was as engrossing as the first despite the fact that I feel like a teenage girl for liking them at all. Oh well...

Yes, so laundry and then a little clean up around the old dorm room, a workout at the very deserted gym, and a good dose of reading in the afternoon. We had a simple dinner here and then watched Pride and Prejudice (I think I'm up to 15 viewings) in my room. We finished off with some sparklers and a mountain-top firework viewing party. I'll post some pictures of that as soon as Robin doctors them to make them look as fantastic as possible. :-)

A quiet but satisfying Friday. Tomorrow I'm looking forward to a real dinner off campus...but before that comes a long list of work that I'd rather not contemplate at this moment.

Oh, and tomorrow, my brother-in-law is getting married! Bryan is at a "bachelor" party right now but the last time he spoke with me he was playing spades. I'm thinking I don't have much to worry about there.

Why I Love Teaching Latin

2008-07-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

I won't pretend there is a lot going on in my life right now. I had my second critique of my work in progress tonight and by all accounts it is being well received. It is going to require a time commitment on my part and some parts of it are going to be hard to write, but I think I am actually going to finish it. And then we'll see what happens.

This week is a holiday, of sorts, but I'm mostly concerned with getting as much done as humanly possible because next weekend I am going camping with Bryan and the following week is when some pretty big stuff is due so I feel the need to get cracking and make some progress as quickly as I can. I will probably go check out the fireworks tomorrow with the gals but I'm kind of waiting and seeing how much free time actually materializes in my week.

But the title of this post is what I really want to talk about. I was trained to be an English teacher. I went to college for five years (blast you, Duke!) and studied English the entire time. I never switched majors or had any doubts that I would be anything but an English teacher upon graduation. I took Latin to fulfill my own foreign language requirement and that was that.

When I was asked to take on a few Latin classes by the Garner High administration, I said yes because I am a sucker for any kind of challenge and, to be honest, I kind of thought I had to. English teachers are in abundance in Wake County and I thought I might lose my spot if I didn't seem flexible. What seemed like a pretty bizarre turn of events has blossomed into a completely new career path for me and I will become a full-time Latin teacher this fall for the first time in my teaching career.

Yesterday, I presented a picture book (only text) on the ABCs of Roman mythology/history/culture. For the first time in that class I felt that I was in my element. I knew that material backwards and forwards and I enjoyed sharing a few little tangents with my classmates. My perfect job will combine my love for that subject with what I teach each day to my students.

And those students... They are truly why I teach Latin at all. I wouldn't be as interested in the subject if I didn't feel like I was making a connection with my audience. Unlike when I talk about the beauty of the end of the Catcher in the Rye and see blank faces in front of me, I can see my students' amusement over Romulus killing his brother because he jumped over his trench. I can hear the click in their brains when I explain to them the parts of a sentence and why Latin has all those endings. I can see them making connections from the past to the present when I teach them about Saturnalia.

My students are delightfully quirky and I, despite the fact that I am financially shooting myself in the foot by teaching the subject (no National Boards possible and my master's won't be relevant), I don't think I'll ever be able to let go. I know too much now. I've had too much fun planning lessons for it. I love that people don't know what to make of it.

Despite the fact that I love literature and love discussing it, I don't think I'll stop being a Latin teacher anytime soon. I can't give up on Aeneas and Lupercalia and the Forum. I need puella, the 3rd declension and the perfect passive subjunctive. Latina est mea vita.

Living in a Fish Bowl

2008-07-02T21:23:00.001-07:00

Last year when I was here there were days when I just wanted to scream because I had to spend 6-straight weeks doing nothing but reading and writing and thinking about reading and writing. My "normal" life is full of different diversions--husband, family, school, students, book reviews, sports, exercise, etc. Here, besides my brief interludes with Bryan, I am constantly faced with whatever it is I have to do.

So I've reached the screaming point again. I find myself obsessing about things that I honestly cannot change, but we are always faced with our work here. I live in a dorm room where my books line the shelves near my desk, where I wake in the morning to find my class journal next to my bed, where my computer is always just an arm's distance away (and constantly on). My schedule revolves around due dates and class meetings. I exercise, not just to stay in shape, but to keep my sanity so that I can expel some angst on something other than a picture book or the latest chapter of my "novel."

Part of my problem is that I cannot control everything around me, and if anyone would like to send me to a hypnotist for my birthday next year so I can be cured of my academic issues then I will be a very grateful lady.

OK, enough of that rant. I have good news! Robin is coming with our group next year to London. Now I will have a travel buddy because she lives close enough that we can leave out of the same airport and an automatic bunkmate should we have to share. We get along famously as they say and she is even willing to let me drone on about my neuroses whenever the mood strikes me. And I can't even begin to explain how much help she has been with that picture book class. She's awesome, and I now have even more to look forward to next June.

Also in the good news department was the fact that I had a much better go-around with my picture book dummy this time. However this one didn't involve pictures so maybe that should tell me something. It was an ABC concept book. Here are the first few letters:

"A is for Aeneas, a Trojan man who fled his burning city on the last day of the Trojan War in order to fulfill a prophecy that one day his descendants would start the city of Rome."

"B is for Bacchus, the god of wine and theater who had such devoted followers that they would gather in the woods and dance in his name."

"C is for Ceres, the goddess of the harvest who helped farmers' crops grow and was the mother of Proserpina, the queen of the Underworld."

Etc.

Easiest picture book I have ever written because I teach that stuff every year and if I have anything stored in my head, it's Roman mythology/history.

Time for bed...only 12:30AM tonight! Last night it was 4AM, so I'm getting better.

Guilty Pleasures

2008-06-30T17:01:00.000-07:00

I just finished Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. I really think that some of these publishers are sprinkling narcotics in the spines of these books because there is absolutely no reason for me to read a 500-page book in two days.

Especially when it's a bad book. After the first chapter, I could have sworn on a stack of first edition children's books that ANY of my creative writing seminar classmates could write better. The prose had no spark and was so repetitive. Really, the first 2/3rds of the novel consisted of a young girl, Bella, falling madly in love with a vampire, Edward. He's a gorgeous vampire (occupational hazard) and he gives off a smell that intoxicates her. And he has a crooked smile (OMG, how many times I had to read that little piece of description!). And he loves her because she has an equally interesting scent (so much smelling!). What really freaked me out was when he would keep kissing her neck--talk about tempting fate, eh?

Yet, I zoomed through the book; I set up a reward system for myself where I could read a chapter every time I completed some assignment for one of my classes. I got sucked up into their silly little romance and now I will be among the throngs attending the film version in December (I was happy to see they got the girl from Speak to play Bella; maybe she'll finally seem intelligent). There are already two follow-ups, but I'll wait until I get all my work done for the week before I make my way to Wal-Mart to pick up some cheap paperbacks. I can't even borrow them from the library because there is a 201-day wait!

It's kind of like Harry Potter (yes, it's better written but I have the same basic issues with it). J.K. Rowling has a knack for storytelling but there is no reason for her books to be as popular as they are. Same with Twilight. My students are ravenous about this book. They ADORE it. They all want to go out and find cute vampires to tempt with their various smells. I don't want to critique the novel; I want to do a psychology experiment to figure out what is wrong with our species because there is no reason for us to get this worked up about fictional characters in sub-par novels.

Bella is the worst kind of female protagonist--she's so clumsy she constantly has to be saved, she's ready and willing to become a vampire for a cute boy, and she has absolutely no self-confidence (You like me? Really? I'm cute?). Sure she is described as intelligent in her Biology class but that's only because she had already done the work before at her previous school. For a feminist, Bella (her name even means beautiful, gag) is like turning the clock back to the early 1900s.

But, yes, I did read the book and I will read the others because I am invested enough at this point to want to see how it turns out. But I'm blaming it on whatever stimulant they sprinkled the pages with because I can't explain my interest. Not. One. Bit.

There once was a Ville named Dan.

2008-06-29T14:05:00.000-07:00

So, Danville, VA. Bryan's presence always adds a little luster to that small city, but it was just as boring as we remembered it. We went to the Danville Wal-Mart, the Danville mall, the Danville K-Mart (because at the time we didn't realize they had a Wal-Mart) and the Danville movie theater. The latter was the most fun because we saw Wall-E, which I can say is another Pixar gem. They are an inspiration to Children's Book writers because they prove that less is most definitely more.

The VERY Happy Couple

But the trip really isn't about visiting the small communities of Virginia, it's about quality time with the hubby. Our conversations usually go as follows:

Bryan: I really miss you.
Michele: I really miss you too.
Bryan: Life sucks at home without you.
Michele: Hollins cannot compare with staying in this crappy hotel room with you.
Bryan: I love you so much.
Michele: I love you too.

Sickening, isn't it? Seven years and we're still sappy. I know it's a good thing, but I probably won't get called on to write dialogue for Lost anytime soon.

Now I'm back in my dorm room, the sky is overcast and I have a list of things to do (a long list). Stories to critique. Picture books to write. Chapters of "my novel" to write.

Sigh. Less than two weeks and Bryan and I are going camping! For two nights instead of just one! I'm a little excited, to say the least. In meantime...

There once was a small town in southern Virginia without a Target...

Rain Drops Keep Falling on my Head

2008-06-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

It rained again today. Twice. I actually got trapped in the English building because it was coming down so hard. It rains in Roanoke every day during the summer. Big storms with lightning and thunder. Great writing weather.
Last night, for the first time in probably 7-8 years, I had a "sleepover." Robin's room seems to be a beacon for the creepy-crawlies (downside to having so much vegetation everywhere) so she inhabited my spare bed. We didn't stay up till 4AM and talk about boys or anything (we're married, after all), but it was another reminder of how we all regress a little while we're here. Thankfully I did not snore or maybe she just said that to be nice. Darn it, now I'll never know.

I met with Nancy Willard today about my work-in-progress. She thought it was funny. She laughed out loud at some parts! Nancy reminds me of Alice Walker--they have presence. She has been the Writer-in-Residence several times at Hollins because she is just an amazing mentor to aspiring writers. She had insightful suggestions, a great idea for beefing up one part of my story and even though my story is drastically removed from what she writes herself, she still enjoyed it. This semester was supposed to be my chance to see if I have the chops to really make a go of it in the creative side of writing, and I am starting to get excited about going home and really developing a writing schedule that will enable me to produce completed manuscripts. I also have a few friends that had talked about getting a writing group together, which would help tremendously because I really like getting other writers to critique my work.

So I guess I'm not a lost cause. What a relief. :-)

Of course, I'm only a third of the way through here and I have to write a picture book text and another two chapters of my novel by Tuesday. So yeah, not time to celebrate yet.

But (drum roll, please), this Saturday I get to see Bryan! We are reuniting at the lovely (cough, cough) Innkeeper in Danville, VA, for 24 hours of quality time. Thus, I will not update again until Sunday when I have returned from my sojourn. Valete!

Oh The Thinks You Can Think

2008-06-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

Last night we went to see Into the Woods. Natalie and co. put on a very good show and it was great to see her again after an 8+ year absence. It was also really good we got off campus because I wasn't able to get my lovely picture book critiqued during class (ran out of time) and I think I would have thrown it out of my dorm window if I had the chance to simmer and think about it too much.

And today, on what was supposed to be a relaxing Thursday, I got up close and personal with the realities of putting on a mini-Broadway show. It's like the Roman Weddings all over again except there are four director-esque people involved and a cast of people I can't threaten with F's if they don't learn their parts. :-) We have our first "rehearsal" tomorrow and I'm praying that people will be willing to commit to actually speaking in front of a group of people. For some reason, this particular performance doesn't bother me in the slightest. 1) I know all these people and the ones I don't, well, I don't know them, so who cares? 2) It's Seuss so it's supposed to be silly and bad performances can be covered up easily. 3) It's a literature conference so we're not the main attraction (although we might be depending on how dull those critical papers are).

So worried about performing in front of a group of people in 3 weeks? Not really. That's about the only thing I'm not worried about, in fact. Mostly, at this moment, I'm looking out my window and seeing that we're about to have a rain shower and I have to go to class in 45 minutes. That is a combination I am not too happy about.

Oh, and tonight I get critiqued for the first time for my creative writing. I'm smack in the middle of the group, #4 out of 6. Frankly, I hope they rip it to shreds so it can be as good as it can be. I really love the idea but I'm not married to the POV or tense or any particular image, so as long as they don't tell me it's a crap plot then I'll be just fine.

Man, it's dark.

I Really Did Try!

2008-06-25T08:21:00.000-07:00

For days I have been trying to "storyboard" the tale of Rapunzel. It's essentially a sheet of paper with little boxes that will eventually represent the pages of a picture book. I couldn't do it. I couldn't think that small. I came up with a few ideas that way but I was really struggling with being original. So I said screw it and just started making the pages themselves. The larger canvas really made it so much easier, BUT the pages are a little more developed than a "dummy book" should be. I can't draw, so I had to collage several of the pages for ease; most of it isn't fit for print (too rough) but it has more color than I think she originally wanted us to have. So here's hoping that doesn't bite me in the rear.

I stayed up till 5AM working on this thing, but Robin thankfully helped me keep going for the last 2 or 3 hours. It's 32 pages, people! What do you expect?

Here are a few samples:

Rapunzel growing up into a desirable young woman (with really long hair).

The Prince seeing Rapunzel face-to-face for the first time.

The Prince falling from the tower.

The Prince wandering the desert blind with Rapunzel in the distance.

So that's my best effort. With my own work, I'll have more creative freedom. Besides going to this class this afternoon, I'm taking a breather on picture books until Friday. I need to write some more of my novel, and I also need to catch up on my sleep!

The Inhumanity

2008-06-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

If I have to draw one more rough sketch of Rapunzel or her hair, I'm going to jump out of the window next to me. We have to do a picture book of a famous fairy tale but we can't include the narrative ourselves. And each part has to be interesting looking. Dynamic. Beautiful. Intriguing.

Next up we are doing a concept book (ABCs, 123s, etc.). I have a great idea, so once we get past this torture, I'm golden. All this creative work is working a part of my brain I haven't really used in three years; it's tough going but I'm determined. To. Not. Fail.

I Really Should Be Working...

2008-06-22T19:42:00.000-07:00

I have a small (cough!) list of things to do tonight, but I wanted to do a quick update. We're having fantastic thunderstorms outside right now which always makes me happy (when I'm safely tucked inside someplace) because it makes for such a great show. I accomplished a lot today but only a smattering of it was for my actual classes. I'm starting to get a little worried about how my commitments to the conference and our numerous lectures/pot lucks are going to affect my work, but we're almost over the first major hump so here's hoping that I can start to have my evenings back and not spend them in the Hollins Room at the library! (I love the lectures, but four days in a row?!)

I guess I should introduce you to the lovely ladies who have been keeping me company this past week:

Michelle, Michele and Robin

Our little No Bake cups were a hit at the pot luck and I guess we'll see tomorrow if they caused any digestive problems (we did do a few things out of order with the peanut butter ones). :-)

I now have less than a week to go before Bryan and I get to see each other. 5 days to go! I'm also hoping to get my mom up here, partially to see this amazing place and also to do a little advising in the art department (I swear on my favorite children's books that I will not submit any of her work!).

This piece won't get looked at until Thursday, but I thought I'd give you a glimpse. I'll post the rest after it has been revised a little. This is the very beginning of my first novel, gulp:

I tapped my fingers on the keys of my laptop, drumming along to the beat of the Jason Mraz song I was listening to. I was, to be put it simply, bored.
I had exhausted every gossip site, checked my five different e-mail accounts, looked up various friends’ myspaces. I had even, believe it or not, read some articles on CNN.com. I was lying on my bed, my legs at right angles as I propped myself up by my elbows with a pillow underneath my torso. It was dark outside, but I was having one of those days where time ceases to be of importance; I was just waiting to feel tired so I could sleep. Ending that sorry excuse for a day was my only desire, but I couldn’t do it. I had turned to my computer in the hopes that a technology coma would set in, but the whir of the machine and the obnoxiousness of Perez Hilton had done nothing but make me feel more pitiful as I spent another night alone.

Roanoke and a Saturday Off

2008-06-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

I don't really talk too much about the actual city that serves as home to Hollins because I really don't get out much. But today, two of my classmates and I ventured out downtown and saw the sights.

Roanoke really is a cute place. It has a pretty active downtown scene with several museums, a thriving market and the usual array of specialty shops. We are actually going to see the play Into the Woods down there later this week. I'm especially excited because I found out, after researching the play, that my old classmate Natalie Newman will be playing the part of Cinderella. She graduated with me at NBHS and I probably haven't seen her since the summer of 2000. She has had a pretty steady career on stage since graduating from Elon University's musical theatre program so I am excited to see her perform again.

Today we just walked around, wandered into a few shops and toured "the hotel" also known as the Hotel Roanoke and Convention Center. For a relatively small town, Roanoke has this bizarrely huge Swiss-esque hotel by its main railroad tracks. It is owned by Virginia Tech now but it really is an amazing structure.
Very fairy tale like. They were doing a bridal photo shoot while we walked around, which was a little bizarre because they had two brides but only one groom.

We then got lost. I was driving, so it really doesn't take a lot of imagination to figure out how that happened. We eventually found our way home again but I was very lucky to have two of the sweetest human beings on the planet in my car because they totally didn't care that we went through two extra towns to get back to our part of Roanoke.

After dinner and a lecture on campus, we went for a walk and we actually went up this dirt road to a graveyard that is home to some of Hollins' most famous families (i.e. the ones the buildings are named after). It was incredibly creepy and maybe a little stupid for the three of us to be walking around in the dark in a remote graveyard that is on a knoll that is a pretty good clip away from the campus proper. I was comforted by the fact that there were three of us, but we didn't hang out long.

When we got back to the dorm, we made No Bake little cupcake things for our Potluck dinner tomorrow at Amanda's house. We misread the directions for both of the desserts and I still have some peanut butter on my pants from our hapless attempts at cooking in our non-kitchen, but we laughed up a storm.

I have been very lucky this summer to meet two people whom I mesh with very well. They both live in Greenvilles (one in SC and the other in NC), and we have a great time together. We all live upstairs in Carvin (convenient) and I find myself very thankful that things worked out the way they did. I had tried, in vain, to get a room in Sandusky (the other dorm), but I had missed it by a day. Now I can't imagine being anywhere but Carvin with such cool people. I typically don't have a lot of female friends. I can't really say why that is--I just don't know a lot of women who share my interests or personality traits. Being at Hollins certainly gives me better odds because our program is dominated by women but most of my friendships here have never gotten past a superficial level. When I think about all the time I spent on my own last year, this past week has really blown me away because I have been able to be a lot more social. I think it makes the whole experience more rewarding and I find myself a little sad I will not get to see these two women (perhaps :-)) on my London trip next year. I'm working on one of them, so we'll see.

Freak Out

2008-06-20T21:53:00.001-07:00

We critiqued our little picture books today. Mine fared well but some of my classmates have definitely upped the ante. I was definitely stressed this afternoon when I was trying to figure out how to do my next assignment. We have to do a wordless picture book of a minimum of 16 pages. It can be rough but you have to be able to get a gist of what's going on in each picture. And it has to be based on a well known fairy tale or fable. That's tough. Regardless of what I choose, I'm going to either have to draw it 12 or 13 times or I'm going to have to cut it out 12 or 13 times. Plus my classmates introduced me to some new techniques today that I would like to draw but it's just daunting to do something like this. If I could actually draw I could do it in fifteen minutes (as my artistic students have proven on more than one occasion). Instead I'm going to be slaving over this assignment for anywhere from 5 to 25 hours. I'm already hyperventilating and it's not due until Wednesday.

Other than a slightly increasing work load, everything is going well. I went to a lecture tonight about children's book publishing. These lectures should be titled: "Reality Check with a Dash of Pipe Dream." They make you very aware of the challenges of trying to become a published author but then they tell you about how some first-time novelist just got a six-figure sum for her novel about a girl that is a modern member of the Knights Templar. Yeah, carrot on a stick. Let me tell ya.

I guess I can say now, since it's technically Saturday, that I have survived week one of six of my 2nd semester of graduate school. Which means that I only have five weeks, about a gazillion entertainment committee meetings to organize, a conference to help run, a couple chapters of my first novel to write, a 100 pages of everyone else's work to read, a play to attend, another 50 pages of various picture books to create, a meeting with Chip to remember to do at some point, an advising appointment to also remember to attend, and two visits with Bryan to look forward to. Oh dear.

Things That Go Meow In the Night

2008-06-19T23:51:00.001-07:00

I present to you my first ever children's picture book:

Please keep in mind this was just a classroom exercise in a children's book signature (a set of 8 pages).

The Controversy of Skippyjon Jones

2008-06-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

So I went to my Creating Picture Books class, which is held in an art studio (kind of neat). The class is pretty fascinating. Our teacher is Ashley Wolff, who is most known for the series of books featuring Miss Bindergarten. She brings her border collie with her to class, and it's a very fun environment. I had a little trouble creating things in class because I didn't have all my materials with me, but I hope that I will get comfortable enough to work on cue. I did try to do too much with my first project, but I let go of my determination to DO IT MYSELF and asked for some help. She really is pretty insightful.

Within that same class, we got into a lot of discussions about the politics of children's book illustration. We had all brought some of our favorites (I brought the Lorax, I Love You Stinky Face and the Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales). Someone brought Skippyjon Jones. Now I love that book. I have given it to both of my nephews, and I usually give it to people when I attend their baby showers. So imagine my surprise when one of my classmates said it is racist. Huh?

The premise of the book is that Skippyjon, a Siamese cat, wants to become a chihuahua. Not just a little dog but a dog bandit who likes to sing in English words with -o's attached to them so it sounds almost like Spanish. The whole book, to me, is about an imaginative kitty who mimics a Zorro-like character. I love the way the language rolls of the tongue and the humor that is sprinkled throughout the text.

I can see, now that it has been brought to my attention, that some Hispanic readers might be irritated with the stereotypes of Spanish bandits (played by the real chihuahuas) and the over simplification of Spanish words. Kind of like those Taco Bell commercials with the chihuahuas, Skippyjon just hits too close to home for some people. But this book, much like those little fast food dogs, is incredibly popular and has won many awards including the E.B. White Award for Best Read Aloud Book. On Amazon.com, 112 people gave it 5 stars and 12 gave it 1 star (mostly for the reason stated above). There is now a whole series of books about Skippyjon. I am usually one of those people who is very aware of how certain pieces of literature might affect people but this one definitely slipped past my attention.

And now, post discussion, I still can't say I feel differently about the book. I can see how it might offend some people, but it's kind of like leprechauns. I'm sure that there is still a minority of Irish people who find them offensive, but I would like to think that human beings today do not actually associate such creatures with real people from Ireland. Same thing for bandits who like tacos. I would hope that young children would not think that a small Siamese cat's fantasies have anything to do with a real person who lives in Mexico. These issues are so challenging because I am not a part of the culture that might be offended by Skippyjon, so how can I really say whether it is offensive? One of my classmates mentioned The Story of Little Black Sambo as a book that was popular in its time but is now seen as offensive. She suggested that someday, despite its numerous awards, Skippyjon might face the same fate. I am open to anyone's thoughts on this issue because I really am perplexed. Are there any other current and popular children's books that could also be seen as racist?

And so it begins...

2008-06-17T20:48:00.001-07:00

Today was my first day of class. But my class wasn't until 6PM. So I pretty much had the day to do whatever I wanted. I went swimming for the first time at Hollins. I hung out with some classmates. I tried to draw (cough, cough). I finished the Seussical script and made some rudimentary notes about what we can do to adapt it for our production. I TRIED TO DRAW, PEOPLE!! I drew a pretty good thumb (don't ask), but everything else was pathetic. What amuses me is that some illustrators use very simple drawings, and, for some reason, it works. When I copy their drawings, it looks amateur and silly. If I could go back and tweak one gene in my body, I would make sure I got my mother's artistic talent. I wouldn't even change the fact that I have to be super careful about diet and exercise just to be normal-sized. Just give me the magic fingers!

My class itself was good. Very chill, very open to whatever it is we feel like writing. Still, this program can be deceiving. Sure, you think you just write things, you read things, end of story. But it takes a long of organization to make sure, for that one class, that you write in your journal every day, prepare your presentation on time, read all your classmates work (twice!) and make good comments on their stories each week and write 10-15 pages a week yourself. Not to mention compiling it all into a portfolio at the end. So, it's no joke, but I like that my teacher isn't making me write in every genre. I can't write kid's poetry. Sorry, but I teach teenagers. I can't write about Pat the Cat who likes to play Pattiwhack.

Here is a snippet of something I wrote during our exercise in class today:
I had to orchestrate my own adventures during those long and monotonous afternoons, and, in that special universe, I was a tree shaker, a girl locked in a magical castle, a spirited warrior trained to save the human race by reading as many books as possible. I was caught in a world of silence where I had to bang the drums of my imagination to remember I was alive. For me, all it took was the right tree.

Orienting

2008-06-16T18:03:00.000-07:00

What a difference a year makes. Last year I had to map out how to get to all my various orientations and I probably arrived 15 minutes early to every one. Today, I woke up fifteen minutes before the first one started, rolled out of bed and ate breakfast, and then leisurely walked NEXT DOOR to the building where my one and only orientation was going to be held.

Today was mostly about meeting up with old friends and getting a few things squared away for our literature conference later in the semester. I am an entertainment co-chair and the theme of the conference this year will be Dr. Seuss. So, I, along with one of my classmates, am in charge of creating a Seussical extravaganza complete with singing, a little dancing, and some acting. I'm already feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of orchestrating around 15 students in a amateur and abridged production of a Broadway musical. Deep breath.

That along with finally seeing my Creating Picture Books syllabus has certainly helped me get into full swing here. I have to create a mini 8-page children's book by Friday. I have to create a 24-page WORDLESS picture book by next Wednesday. Yep. I am in WAY over my head, but I'm going to be a good sport and see what I can come up with...wordless picture books....oy vey.
Anyone have any ideas they would like to share?

I have enjoyed reconnecting with some old friends. I stayed up late last night watching the new Pride and Prejudice with some classmates (probably the 10th time I've seen it, to be honest). Today I have mingled with a ton of different people in the program--new and old. I'm trying to be a good ambassador to our new students but also get some quality time with my friends from last year. Everyone here is really nice; some people like to keep to themselves but most see the benefit in coming out of their rooms for fresh air once in a while.

Speaking of fresh air, I am loving being able to bike everywhere again. I used my car to take my neighbor to the grocery store this evening, but otherwise I have been able to bike or walk everywhere. The campus is so gorgeous and I just can't get over the landscapes. I envy the people who work here year-round because they are in an idyllic little setting here. It's paradise.

Not bad, eh?

Coming to Virginia

2008-06-15T13:35:00.000-07:00

It all started with this:

And then a 3.5 hour car ride that brought to mind such questions as: Why did ANYONE think it was a good idea to name a county, Pittsylvania? And, why is it that there are so many duplicate city/town names? It's a little confusing that there is a Rocky Mount, VA in addition to the Rocky Mount, NC. Maybe it's just me....

And then we arrived!
Carvin Hall, my new home

So this is my first go-around with the dorms. The apartments were quaint and I enjoyed having two roommates that I could get to know pretty well but the apartments aren't technically on campus which means that I was looking out on a parking lot instead of this:

I think you can see the advantages to my new digs. Living in the dorms does mean that I have a lot PBJ sandwiches in my future (no stove!), but I didn't cook that much even when I had a stove last year so I don't think I'll miss it too much.

As for the accommodations, I didn't do too bad this year:

The mess above eventually became:

So far I'm enjoying the beautiful scenery, and I'm sure I'll like my roommates as soon as they start in move in. It has been a slow trickle around here; I've met a few nice new people, but most of the returning guard is coming in tonight or tomorrow, so for right now, the hall is pretty quiet. I'm sure I'll be bemoaning the wait for the bathroom in no time.

As for my and Bryan's last moments together, we had a nice "anniversary" meal at Hollywood's last night, watched Knocked Up for the third or fourth time, and tried to share a bottle of wine. However, we forgot a corkscrew. Now this corkscrew situation has become a hallmark of my and Bryan's marriage. Over the course of our 7 years as a married couple, we have had at least three occasions where we've had a corked bottle of wine and no corkscrew. One time, in Paris, we had to have the man at the local grocery open it for us. The Swiss corkscrew we bought after that little fiasco was taken away by the German airport security (only because we were flying to the States, mind you; the Italian airport security official had no problem letting us on the plane with it when we were on our way to Germany).

Bryan and I really don't drink a lot of wine, but it really seems unfair we have to go to these lengths when we want to have some with our dessert:

I'm sure anyone living below me last night was thrilled to hear the reverberations of Bryan hammering on the cork of our bottle of wine.

Besides the Cork Craziness of '08, we had a nice evening and a somber goodbye this afternoon. I won't pretend it's not incredibly difficult to be away from him during these summer sessions. As much as I love this opportunity to immerse myself in writing and reading, I do have to make some sacrifices and our two-week separations are certainly the biggest. I am fortunate to be able to see him while I am gone, but it takes a day or two to really get used to not having him around every morning and evening. I immerse myself in a brisk schedule to make the time go faster, but I still get the pangs. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for the spouses of our soldiers who serve time overseas. I really don't think I could bear it.

So, I'm a Hollins resident again. I'm going to go for a bike ride and forget about the fact that I have to practice my "drawing" sometime this evening. Michele drawing...hmmm....

Father's Day

2008-06-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

Today all I can think about is Luke Russert, Tim Russert's son. This twenty-something young man was in Italy with his mom and he got a phone call on Friday that his dad had died.

No warning.

No chance to say goodbye.

His father, the famous journalist Tim Russert, had a history of coronary artery disease but had controlled the problem with good diet and exercise and had done well on a stress test just a few months ago.

While Russert died doing something he loved and certainly did not suffer in his last moments, his family still had no idea that he, at the age of 58, would be gone.

And now, today, Father's Day, Luke is being forced to deal head on with the fact that he will never get to see his father again.

The reason this particular story is so painful for me is because it is my own. A little over two years ago, I got a phone call similar to the one Luke and his mother got on Friday. Just like him, I had no warning. Just like him, I was going about my life with absolutely no idea that at any moment I could lose my father. My dad had been doing well on his stress tests too. Yes, he had some blocked arteries in the past, but his doctors were being very vigilant about his care. Just like him, my dad was doing what he loved (mountain biking) and did not suffer. And just like him, a few days (in my case two weeks) later, I had to celebrate Father's Day with everyone except for my father. My dad was 55; his was 58.

I could try to impart some wisdom about appreciating your loved ones every day instead of just on Hallmark holidays and when it's too late. But for people who still have their parents, my story and Luke's will still probably not resonate through. It's just a fault of the human race that we can't appreciate what we have until it's gone or we worry so much about losing someone that we can't enjoy ourselves in the moment. There are some people who manage to avoid both pitfalls, but I don't know many.

I just know that today and every other day, I miss my dad, and when I read about Tim Russert, I got that same gut wrenching sensation I felt on May 28, 2006, because I knew that some other young person was having to deal with the unexpected loss of a parent. I do feel fortunate that I have so much to miss and I'm sure Luke is grateful for his father's amazing legacy, but the tributes and the outpouring of love and support can never make up for the loss of a good parent.

My dad, Joseph Hageman

Anticipation

2008-06-12T17:32:00.001-07:00

I did get a little excited tonight. Bryan and I had our final Mexican dinner at Los Tres and he reminded me I wanted to get some picture books for inspiration for my Creating Picture Books class. So I went and grabbed about 20 different picture books with varying styles of illustration.

So much genius. I have the inkling of some creative juices flowing. Could be good. :-)

Oy vey

2008-06-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

So, Saturday is it. I return. I get back in my car with my boxes of "summer stuff" and drive myself to the little (actually more medium-sized) town of Roanoke and live amongst my own kind for six weeks.

What kind am I, you ask? (I love to envision people actually showing interest in such a question.) I am a lover of children's literature (and proud of it, whoop, whoop!) I enjoy writing although this summer will determine if I have the determination to take it further than my personal computer. I enjoy mountainous landscapes with rolling green hills and the peacefulness of a mostly empty campus. Ahhhh... I enjoy the completely selfish endeavor that is a Master's in Children's Literature that could very well never make me any additional income.

My classmates are quirky, wonderful people. I am looking forward to living amongst them again. However, I am, of course, apprehensive about leaving my partner in crime. Bryan and I handled the separation so well last summer that I am going into this more confident that we will survive but also that our relationship will strengthen because of our time apart. However, I wonder if this time won't be harder because it's no longer a new experience. He knows what it is like to be here on his own and I know what it is like to immerse myself in my schoolwork for a while. And with London coming up next summer (oh yeah)...this summer feels more like a waiting period until the real fun begins.

I'm not a good waiter, which probably explains my fixation on the whole process. I don't know if it is teaching or what but I get itchy feet so quick these days. I find myself hurrying people a lot. Let's go downstairs now. Let's go for a walk now. Let's get this show on the road NOW. I can't just sit and smell the roses anymore. I need constant stimulation. Not the same kind of activity my students need (with their texting and other various annoying forms of communication), but I do need to constantly feel like I'm making progress towards a goal of some kind. So sitting around waiting for graduate school to start? A little difficult but I will try to enjoy these last few days in my own home, with my husband and my two little kitties. Deep breaths.... Smell roses...NOW!

Sigh

2008-05-25T10:12:00.001-07:00

One of Senator McCain's spokespeople just told Wolf Blitzer that the Democrats are the reason that the U.S. dollar is so weak. Apparently their rise in popularity is frightening people in the world around us.

He also said Senator Obama shares more similarities with President Bush than McCain does.

Please, people. Please.

Back to School

2007-09-02T18:02:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I'm back. I got home and was overwhelmed by returning to my normal existence. To be honest, at first, I was really bored. I had two weeks to burn before going on vacation with my family, so I got to relax. I don't do well with relaxing. I was home while everyone else was at work. I felt lazy. I know I spent the summer reading books, but that surprisingly required a lot of work. So I got home and didn't have any deadlines all of a sudden.

During those two weeks, I did help a pair of friends move back into the area, had a few lunches with loved ones and got to spend every day with my husband (a rare treat after six weeks of separation). So it wasn't all bad, but I was ready for some entertainment.

We spent a week at Holden Beach; there were 10.5 of us in all. I don't really count my nephew Phoenix as a full person yet because he's only 7 months old. :-) He can't even use the bathroom outside of his own pants yet, you know?

Front row (from left): Josh (brother-in-law), Jenny (sister) and Phoenix (nephew), and Ruth (grandma);
Second row (from left): Me, Bryan (husband), Patti (Mom's best friend), Gina (Mom), and Mike (Mom's beau);
Third Row (from left): John (cousin) and Kim (John's girlfriend).

We had a great time in a fantastic house. My only complaint that it was almost too relaxing. After a summer of reading, writing and sitting, I could have used some roller coaster rides or something. :-)

And then it was back to school the day after I got back from the beach. I have my own room! Laudate deos! I made it all Latin-rific; I'll try to remember to take pictures this week. Coupled with a bunch of meetings and general information overload, the week flew by and I was back to teaching again before I knew it.

And now, a week later, I am enjoying a Sunday evening with my man and anticipating one more day of relaxation before another school week begins. Frankly, it's been good. My students are focused, they've got Latin names (that I'm acutally remembering to use), and all my Latin I students seem to know what I'm talking about. So far. ;-)

Besides not having enough books for about two days, I'm feeling good about the program's direction. I'm also excited about Knightdale's direction too. Last year was such a period of transition--this year, I feel like we have overcome some major growing pains and are reaping the advantages of our "new height." Still very early, of course, but I'm loving my job, loving my family, and loving my home. Besides wishing there was more time in the day, sum laeta!

By the numbers...

2007-07-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

No. of days in Roanoke, VA: 43
No. of classes attended at Hollins University: 24
No. of hours spent in class: 72 hours
No. of novels/textbooks read in their entirety: 29 (most were > 200 pages)
No. of articles/anthologies/textbooks consulted for papers: 26
No. of papers written: 3 (total no. of pages written: 34)
No. of presentations given: 2
No. of conferences attended: 1
No. of parties attended: 5
No. of speaker events attended: 6
No. of paragraphs in Latin translated: 3 (btw, I totally passed the foreign language exam.)
No. of visits with Bryan: 4 (no more than 24 hours each time)
No. of meals at Hollywood's (best food in Roanoke): 3
No. of letters from home: 1 (Thanks, Mayo!!)
No. of all-nighters: 0 (2AM was the latest I stayed up)
No. of gym visits: 18 (went three times a week without fail...good stress relief)
No. of miles biked: too many to count (only drove to class once; it was raining and I had to take food for a class breakfast)
No. of trails hiked: 1 (I have to work on this for next time.)
No. of laundry trips: 4 (I will never take my washer/dryer for granted again.)
No. of movies watched: 1 (theatre); 7 (home) and at least six episodes of Firefly and Veronica Mars

I had a great time, and I am so glad that I am in this program because it fulfills my personal AND academic interests. Despite the distance, the work load, etc., I am so glad I came here and I know that this is the best M.A. program out there for me. I feel very blessed to get to take part in the learning that goes on in our little mountain resort. My next entry will be my last about Hollins. I will be continuing this blog, but I will turn the focus to my normal life and my teaching experiences (the latter is often very entertaining).

I'm done!
So many books . . .

Now what?

2007-07-26T20:15:00.001-07:00

I know this is going to sound bizarre, but whatever.

I have nothing left to work on. Papers finished. Books read. Reflections written.

I go to class tomorrow and that's it.

I feel weird. I always have something to work on.

Oh, wait...dang it, I've got to go to the gym tomorrow before class. Bloody hel....

One Down

2007-07-26T09:28:00.001-07:00

Made an A in sci-fi.

Heck yeah!

Still Breathing, Barely

2007-07-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

The sci-fi paper got edited down to 16 pages...not much of an improvement but my professor said it was OK. The same day I turned that one in, I had to pretty much rewrite my other essay because I didn't like the organization. Today, I have to read my last novel and edit that same essay because I need to knock it down about 2.5-3 pages. The curse of being wordy.

Weather is super gloomy and has been for the past two days. I think it's reflecting my state-of-mind. I've been staring at a computer screen so much since HP VII that I got a headache walking into the grocery store yesterday because the lights were too bright. I cannot quite explain how glad I am that I will have three weeks of peace and relaxation before I go back to KHS. If I had to go straight into teacher workdays, I might lose my mind. I've done such things before and it always sucks and I am always exhausted and stay that way until I either make myself sick so I can catch up on my rest or I get a weekend in which I can stay in my pajamas the entire time and chill.

Tomorrow is my last sci-fi class and I might stay and watch Destination Moon (old movie) with my classmates, but that kind of depends on how far along I am with this paper by the time I go to bed tonight. Friday, we have our final farewell potluck, and then Saturday, I'm driving back to Raleigh.

I cannot believe I have been here for more than a month. I have gotten so used to my little twin bed, eating with my roommates, going to class every morning. I just can't imagine what it is going to be like to drive down Durant Rd. or go to our YMCA instead of Hollins' little gym. You get so acclimated to your surroundings when you stay some place for a while. However, I think it's going to take me about five seconds to get used to being back home. I'm coming, Muon and Quark!

Oh, and then there's that Bryan guy. I guess he wants me to come home too. :-)

Ironically, one of the first things I am going to want to do when I get home is go to the library. I'm on such a roll here that I can't imagine not reading a book a day, and, with all my future free time, I am going to have a lot of time to read. For pleasure. Ahhh... Although, I have to say that I have read every single book I was assigned. In undergrad, I definitely skipped a few, but I am in this program because I love this genre so much so I don't find it too surprising that I enjoyed 98% of the novels on my syllabi. This entry will be the last until I walk out of my last class on Friday. Then I will regale you with all the specifics of my time here.

I'm So Dead

2007-07-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

Sci-fi paper...17 pages.

Yep.

Supposed to be 10-13 pages.

Due on Tuesday.

Stupid long topic!

At least I have a complete draft. Finally. Thank goodness.

Sooooo tired of writing.

FIVE DAYS!

Finished

2007-07-21T11:53:00.000-07:00

At 2:50PM, Saturday, July 21st, I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and, thusly, the Harry Potter series.

For some people, this sort of documentation may seem weird.

For others, it will be perfectly understandable.

Regardless, now, I must get back to work.

It's Time

2007-07-20T21:24:00.001-07:00

It is 12:22AM, Saturday, July 21st.

I have the Potter.

I happen to be wearing my costume from our Death Day Party. I was a wizard dressed as a Muggle.

I have Pepsi. I have candy. I have mashed potatoes (don't ask). I am ready.

Commence reading!

Mothers

2007-07-19T15:45:00.001-07:00

I just finished Walk Two Moons. It is one of those books that I have been familiar with for a long time but never actually read.

It made me cry.

The relationships seem so real and the sense of loss and honesty at the end was hard for me to deal with as I was finishing it. My only complaint is that in the course of the novel, one mother dies, one mother runs away, and one grandmother dies. Women get a raw deal in literature. In Coraline, the "other mother" was the evil one. In most fairy tales, the mother is either evil or dead or ignoring her children. In most of the Heinlein novels I have read, mothers are not important and it is the fathers who have all the knowledge and ability to help their children.

I'm not saying that we need to see a lot more dads functioning as evil characters, but some balance would be nice. I realize the evil stepmother is a popular motif in literature, but sometimes archetypes should be tweaked over time. Think about Hamlet for goodness sake! Because mothers are so important to their children, they make fantastic villains or catalysts for true grief. However, I think our culture as a whole needs to give Dads a little more credit anyway.

If I see one more commercial where some father is looking harried because his wife is out shopping and he has to look after the kids for five hours, well, I'm going to . . . . I'm not going to do anything, obviously, but I find such trends disappointing because many of the Dads I have known or know are very involved. My brother-in-law loves my nephew very much and spends a lot of time with him. He is certainly capable of watching him without my sister present. My own Dad, especially after my parents' divorce, took us on all the time without another parent present and did a great job.

So since they are capable at the job, maybe they can be evil too now, eh?

The Vick Family Must be Stopped!

2007-07-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

I love sports. College sports, that is.

When I was in middle school, I was addicted to Duke basketball. I would wear my Duke hat and sit with my huge Duke mug (filled with Country Time Pink Lemonade) and watch the tournament like my life depended on it.

I continued that fascination right up through my freshman year of college when I had to change my allegiances for NCSU for obvious reasons.

As for football, my interest fluctuated throughout high school. Frankly, I enjoyed it for social reasons in high school, but, at some point, Bryan taught me the rules and I got into it again when I was at State.

So for the past five or so years, I have been in the thick of ACC basketball and football.

Two years ago, a guy named Marcus Vick started playing for Virginia Tech's football team. He was their new star quarterback and his placement there was even more significant because he was Michael Vick's brother (who also played quarterback for VT and was now the QB for the Atlanta Falcons). NCSU played VT their first game (away) that year and all we heard on ESPN was Marcus this and Marcus that. The guy got all the hype. And how did he use his new found fame?
In 2004, he provided alcohol to teenage girls.
That same summer, he was arrested for reckless driving and drug possession (weed).
In 2005, he flicked off West Virginia fans after winning.
Later in 2005, he was arrested for speeding, reckless driving, and driving with a suspended/revoked license in VA.
In January of 2006, he stomped on the knee of an opposing player during the Gator Bowl.
A few days later, Virginia Tech dropped him from the program, but he still went into the NFL draft.
Just a few days after that, he was arrested for waving a gun at a teenager at McDonald's.

So what became of Marcus after all his misdeeds? He was picked up by the Miami Dolphins as a free agent (he did not get drafted), and he was released by them in May. So he is jobless for now. But what are the chances he will stay that way?

So imagine my SHOCK, SURPRISE, INDIGNATION, when I heard that Michael, his big brother, is just as bad.

I don't know if there are any more Vick brothers coming up the pipeline, but could we just head them off at the pass and not let them play football. Please?

I realize that some people would say that these two guys are why professional sports are a waste of time. I concur. I am not a fan of professional leagues. However there are a lot of great student athletes out there and I think NCSU has done a pretty fair job of bringing in kids who are pretty good at both. Yes, they get special privileges and a free ride, but I wouldn't want their schedule, so they are welcome to it. If you have ever been in a football stadium on a crisp Saturday afternoon where 50,000 people are all wearing the same color and cheering for the time thing, well, then you would see the appeal. And at least at the collegiate level, they still have some heart. And no evidence of steroids.

For now. :-)

Papers, papers, everywhere!

2007-07-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

11 days.

That's all the time I have left here at Hollins.

I saw Bryan for the last time (before I go home) this past weekend. We met at the same hotel and same room in Martinsville. I think the people at Captain Tom's Seafood Restaurant think we live there now.

Bryan is making major headway on our guest bathroom renovation. Keep in mind, I did not put him up to doing home improvements while I was gone. However, our guest bath was kind of blah compared to the rest of the house, so he has painted it, put in new fixtures and tiled the floor. He's done all of this practically by himself except for about 12 hours of assistance from his brothers on the floor and shower fixtures (which are more complicated to replace than you would think).

I can't wait to see it. My mom used to do all kinds of artwork when my sister and I would go on vacation without her. We'd come back and she would have redecorated the living room. I always found it exciting to having something more than homecoming to anticipate. I haven't seen any of the changes yet, so I'll be making a mad dash upstairs the second I get home.

So what's on the docket for this week? Pulling my hair out. I have one paper to continue revising (due next Friday) and another to write from scratch (due next Tuesday). I also have just five novels left to read! Throw in some meetings, finishing my study abroad application, and, what was it, ummmm, oh yeah, HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS coming out and I'll find a way to fill in the time. They're actually having a read-a-thon in one of the dorms, but I prefer to devour my J.K. in perfect quiet. Yesterday I tried to escape to the library to read in the hopes that I could avoid dozing if I read in an unfamiliar place. But one of my classmates was in the comfy couch nook so I ended up talking to her for an hour. We're a friendly and unfortunately talkative bunch here, so one really has to close oneself off to get anything done.

Which is why, in an effort to utilize my day off, I'm locking myself in my room after lunch to get a draft completed of my sci-fi paper. Wish me luck, people. I'm going in . . . .

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

2007-07-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

So this is coming from me, Harry Potter-phile that I am.

The movie was awesome. Visually stunning. Well acted. Stayed true to the core of the series and the novel itself. And, frankly, the book was too long and the film was able to tidy up some especially drawn out parts from the text.

I do feel bad for those who see these movies without reading the books because some of this stuff must go WAY over your head, but, hey, go read the books then.

One shocking news flash during the previews--MY FAVORITE SERIES as a kid was The Dark is Rising series by Susan Cooper. They have apparently made a movie of the second book. I had no idea that was happening. I'm not sure they have stayed faithful AT ALL to the series, but between that and Golden Compass' arrival this Christmas--it's almost too much movie magic to bear.

Also, not a good thing to see a movie where London figures prominently when you are desperate to go on a trip to London next year. Keep those toes crossed, people!

Worthy Literature

2007-07-12T20:57:00.000-07:00

I read Holes by Louis Sachar today. After the first few chapters, I was concerned because it is obviously written for middle school kids and I wasn't sure if I would have a lot to say about it.

Books like The Secret Garden and Alice in Wonderland were written for children too, but, upon rereading them, I see now how very different such books are from our modern children's literature.

Part of me wonders if we are dumbing down literature for young people because obviously 12-year-olds used to love Lewis Carroll and J.M. Barrie, but not many average kids pick up such books today. What's changed? Obviously, children's past times are a little different now and that certainly has an effect on what they are willing to read. I recently read an article that talked about how some schools are putting YA fiction on their summer reading lists so kids might actually read the books. Apparently, if the books aren't quick reads then they don't get read.

But after finishing Holes, I have a completely different perspective. Holes is about a curse and an outcast and someone loving himself for the first time, but it's also a masterpiece of storytelling. Because Sachar isn't just writing about someone digging holes in the desert. His narrative structure is constantly filling in the holes in the story. So Stanley survives the yellow -spotted lizards all over his body. A previous chapter has told us that he should be dead. But in the chapter after Stanley's brush with death, we find out that these lizards don't like people who have a high concentration of onion in his/her system. Well, Stanley has been eating only onions for the week he has spent in the desert with Zero. Lucky, sure. But it's amazing how Sachar weaves all these plots together into something that makes complete sense to the reader and even leaves you with a few things to think about when you're done.

So to those who say children's literature has gone to pot (I'm talking to you, Harold Bloom), I say take a second look.

In the Classroom

2007-07-11T05:46:00.001-07:00

So this is a typical Hollins classroom:

It's basically a large conference room with as much AV equipment as you could ever desire. And this is me at 8:45AM today:
Note the seriously funky looking hair that usually results from my early morning bike ride in nice Virginia humidity.

I took my foreign language exam today, and I am very scared of failing a test in a subject that I now predominantly teach. Thus, if I fail, no one will ever know because my students need to believe that I know what I'm talking about. Heck, I need to believe that! :-)

I read Peter and Wendy for the first time yesterday; I'm really fond of Barrie's writing style--his balance of addressing his child and adult readers reminds me of Pixar's attempts to do the same in their films. He, like so many early children's writers, was a little eccentric, but it must have been hard to be a successful writer who didn't feel like a grown-up.

Today was the busiest day of my week, so I'm looking forward to things winding down. On Friday, some of us are going to see HP V in the theatre. Most of the student went last night at midnight but we just couldn't commit to being out till 3AM when we had a class in the morning, a foreign language exam in the afternoon and stacks of books to read. So it will be our end-of-week treat. As for when the final book comes out, I may have to go out at midnight to get that one. The Kroger down the street is actually having a midnight party, and it's the closest location so I'm thinking of hitting that place up for my copy. I just don't feel like dealing with hoards of little children at midnight (too many bad memories from my bookstore days). Plus some little goblin head is going to flip to the back of the book and start screaming who dies and I might lose my temper. To put it mildly.

This way I can go to the grocery store, buy my copy and some Pepsi at the same time and return home for the long haul. It's a weird choice, but, right now, it's the best I have got.

Now I have to get back to my ginormous stack of books that I have to read. Vale!

These are just SOME of the novels I've read while I've been here.

Another Monday

2007-07-09T14:42:00.000-07:00

Today has been interesting. I'm a compulsive eater with certain items and mints are one of my weaknesses. I immediately bite into them so I finish each one in about two seconds. I was making my way through a bag of Lifesavers Wint-O-Green mints earlier when my stomach started to feel funny.

After about two hours of a very noisy midsection, I looked at the bag to see what was going on. Had I overdosed on mints? Apparently, yes, because these sugar free mints contain phenylalanine, which, if consumed excessively, can cause a laxative effect.

So, yeah . . . .

On a happier and less bathroom-focused event, I got to see Bryan again--except this time we explored Martinsville, VA! Martinsville is known for its Nascar race track and . . . .

That's about it.

This town is also somewhat close to Virginia's Fairy Stone State Park, so we thought we'd check in and head for the hills, as they say.

Bryan got there at 11 . . . I got there at 11:45 (took an early exit and GOT REALLY CONFUSED). Virginia may be a very nice state, but they don't have numbers on their frickin highway exits. What's up with that? I have yet to get someplace outside Hollins on time and I am counting the minutes till I can enter the North Carolina border and be rid of Highway 220 and its silliness.

Anyway.

So Bryan and I checked into the illustrious Days Inn of Martinsville, which, according to the management, has consistently received 5 sunbursts from the Days Inn Corporate Office.

Our room, which looks almost exactly like the room we had in Danville.

So we got settled and realized that neither of us felt like hiking for three hours in the Virginia mountains. So we raided the local Little Caesar's and hooked up my dorm room DVD player to the television pictured above and settled in for an afternoon of Veronica Mars. The CW Network is on my enemies list right now because they prematurely canceled this amazing show that is well written and depicts a smart female protagonist who is more than capable of taking care of herself. And what did they replace it with? Hmmm?

GOSSIP GIRL!!!!!???? @^$%@*%^@*!($^!
(edited for my younger and more impressionable readers ;-))

I am through with the CW Network. I could handle Gilmore Girls' demise, but Veronica too? They are now up there with FOX in the soulless television station list. Blah.

We had fun though watching season 2 and gorging ourselves on pizza, bread sticks and hot wings. It was awesome.

Awwww . . . .

Now, today, other than having way too many bowel movements, I have been making my way through The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury. Great, great book. It is a collection of stories that make up Earth's attempts to colonize Mars. Some powerful stuff (especially for the 40s and 50s) including a story where all the black people in the South go to Mars to experience real freedom, a story about a man, who, reacting to the burning of all good literature on Earth, builds a real House of Usher on Mars, and, my favorite, a story where the Martians think the Earthlings who suddenly appear on their planet are Martians who have gone insane.

It's funny and sad and so prophetic. I was always fond of Fahrenheit 451, but this book is even better because it combines some of the themes of that novel with so much more insight about the human race. Now I have to write an essay about it, and I have no idea how to focus my admiration into a few coherent paragraphs, so we'll see.

I've quoting one of my favorite paragraphs below. I wish I could write something this powerful:

"Every man, they said, must face reality. Must face the Here and Now! Everything that was not so must go. All the beautiful literary lies and flights of fancy must be shot in mid-air! So they lined them up against a library wall one Sunday morning thirty years ago, in 1975; they lined them up, St. Nicholas and the Headless Horseman and Snow White and Rumpelstiltskin and Mother Goose--oh, what a wailing!--and shot them down, and burned the paper castles and the fairy frogs and old kings and the people who lived happily ever after (for of course it was a fact that nobody lived happily ever after!), and Once Upon a Time became No More! And they spread the ashes of the Phantom Rickshaw with the rubble of the Land of Oz; they filleted the bones of Glinda the Good and Ozma and shattered Polychrome in a spectroscope and served Jack Pumpkinhead with meringue at the Biologists' Ball! The Beanstalk died in a bramble of red tape! Sleeping Beauty awoke at the kiss of a scientist and expired at the fatal puncture of his syringe. And they made Alice drink something from a bottle which reduced her to a size where she could no longer cry 'Curiouser and curiouser,' and they gave the Looking Glass one hammer blow to smash it and every Red King and Oyster away!"

The power of children's literature, folks. That's why I'm here.

You May Have to Wipe Up My Drool

2007-07-05T11:39:00.001-07:00

A sampling of events from the proposed London/Oxford Trip:

1) "The Magical World of Alice and Harry Potter"--a guided walking tour centered on Lewis Carroll and Harry Potter.

2) Tour of Literary Oxford to include Tolkien and CS Lewis sites.

3) Guided walking tour centered on Philip Pullman.

4) Visit the Bronte Parsonage at Haworth near York.

5) Beatrix Potter Day--take the local bus to Hawkshead and Bowness on Windermere. Visit Hill Top at Sawrey and also the Beatrix Potter Museum.

6) A J.M. Barrie Day with a trip to Kensington Gardens.

7) Train ride to the Roald Dahl Children's Gallery in Buckinghamshire.

Even if you barely know me or have only seen my classroom, you should know how much this trip would appeal to me. THANKFULLY it's within my budget. Now I just have to apply and get a spot. If you have ever so much as thrown a smile in my direction, please gather all your collective "happy thoughts" and send them my way (in your heads, of course), and maybe, just maybe, I'll get to go to Oxford and London.

In addition, if I am selected, I don't want any material gifts for the next year. If you want to give me a present, please contribute to the "Michele Goes to London" fund or get an Amazon gift certificate so I can buy my books. :-) I've never "told" people what to get me (I prefer hinting), but what I need is this trip. Not clothes. Or even household items. Bryan and I can swing the costs, but any "softening of the blow" would be received with much groveling at the feet and many, many handshakes and blown kisses. This is my only chance to study abroad and it is so geared to my literary interests that I cannot function right this moment.

Oh, and the classes (since this is, after all, school) . . .

One of them is a creative writing class on MYTH, LEGEND AND HISTORY.

Those words might as well be my middle name. I don't use Lisette for much anyway.

So this is Michele Myth Legend History DeCamp, getting offline so she can write the kickest-ass essay possible and score a seat on da plane.

Fingers crossed, people!

Fourth of July

2007-07-04T18:04:00.000-07:00

Looking back, I was surprised to see that I had not updated since Sunday. Things have been moving along at a fast clip so I guess I lost track of the day for a minute there. I think my lack of writing is partially a result of having to read two novels on Monday (Time Traders and A Wrinkle in Time) and then having my professor rework my sci-fi paper idea into something completely different that required a five-hour trip to the library for research on Tuesday.

Then on Tuesday night I got a call that definitely made me forget everything. You see, I woke up this morning with this in the parking lot:
That would be my husband's "box-like" car that I described in an earlier entry. We were talking last night about our upcoming trip to Martinsville this Saturday and got off the phone so he could go to bed. Then, about 10 minutes later, he calls me and tells me that he is coming in the morning to see me! We both had Wednesday off so he decided that he didn't want to sit around the house or see Transformers with friends when he could be visiting me. :-) Such a smart man.

We talked about what time he could get here in the A.M. when he decided that he was going to come THAT VERY NIGHT! He started rushing around getting clothes together and feeding the cats, and I got very giddy at the idea that I would see my husband again after a week and a half.

He pulled into the parking around 1:30AM; it's times like that when I am grateful that my roommates are mostly night owls who are still up that late and weren't disturbed by our sudden tramping up and down the stairs. Everything squeaks in this place. Doors. Floors. Cabinets.

We got up this morning and went for a two-hour hike on a trail off the Blue Ridge Parkway and went downtown for lunch. Roanoke, despite its awful highway system and exceedingly slow drivers (my two major complaints with the town), has a thriving downtown area with a daily market and plenty of unique little shops. It was nice to share it with him and we even got matching "Bush's Last Day: 1-20-09" bumper stickers. The owner said they were very popular. Cough, cough. I can't imagine why.

He had to leave a little after 4PM so I went upstairs and talked to my lovely sister who is moving in ONE DAY to Pennsylvania. It's a bittersweet event for the family because they are moving on to very nice digs and lots of opportunities in PA but this is the first time someone in the immediate family has permanently left the state. So I'm excited for them, yay! But I'm bummed that my sister, her husband and my nephew will no longer be so close by. We take family for granted, you know? Here's my favorite picture of Phoenix, the cutie-patootie:

Phoenix, my darling nephew

Then I went to a 4th of July gathering at my apartment complex where I ate a variety of potato chips and cookies (I DO NOT do hot dogs) and played a game of Cranium with some classmates. My team won, partially because we knew that Joseph Smith followers are called Mormons and how to spell genuine backwards.

Now I'm settling in to finish Coraline by Neil Gaiman and anticipate another reunion with Bryan this weekend. I'm trying not to gush about him too much, but, man, he's such an awesome husband. Seriously. We have such a fun life together and I am overwhelmed sometimes by how much we love each other and how happy we are when we're together. I wouldn't say that we took each other for granted before this but we were very comfortable, and this experience has made us see how difficult life can be without your "favorite person" (Bryan's particular phrasing) around. Bryan is such a good man, and the fact that he would drive 3.5 hours in the middle of the night so he could sleep next to me is pretty special. End of gush. Sorry.

Tomorrow I will discuss the end of the world. Stay tuned.

Happy Halloween!

2007-07-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

So here are a few of my friends hanging out last night . . .
(from left: Carly (HP), Jamie (Scandinavian belle), Karen (bunny minus ears), Erin (Hermione), Me, Kate (Goddess Diana) and Valerie (Glinda the Good Witch))

When asked what I was supposed to be, someone supplied "the Baptist minister's wife on vacation." That works for me. Just call me Mrs. Falwell.

And now, for the first time, here is a close-up of my roommates:
Carly and Erin!

However, Carly's costume was really this:
She was one of the Harry Potter trading cards. It is actually an exact replica of the real card. Everyone was taking pictures of her. Second best costume was "fan-fic" Hermione who was dressed in Gryffindor attire complete with condoms hanging off her outfit because a lot of fan fiction writers include some explicit couplings between Harry and Hermione. Or Harry and Ron. Or Harry and Snape. It boggles the mind.

It was a fun night, and I got to hang out with my friends as well as my professors, including my science fiction teacher, the illustrious Chip Sullivan:
He was supposed to be Hawaiian Barbie (not a good idea to show up sans costume) but he wouldn't put on the grass skirt.

Tonight I have another party, although this one will be more low-key because it is a chance for us to meet the writer-in-residence here who will be speaking at the library tomorrow night. I have to bring something. I'm thinking rolls. :-) Or some type of cheese dip. Whatever I decide, it will not be something I have to cook. I'm too lazy for that. Plus I have to read Alice in Wonderland! I've got important things to do, people!

Reading, Writing and no Arithmetic!

2007-06-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

Today was the 13th annual Francelia Butler Conference at Hollins.

I actually helped out with a lot of different parts. I helped collect doodles from different professors, wrap said doodles, set-up the auction items and various decorations, and I even did a little skit in-between some of the readers. I had to sing. I know. You don't have to tell me.

It was a lot of fun and I'm on the "future planning committee" so I'll have an even bigger part to play next summer. That is if I don't . . .

Go to LONDON FOR SIX FREAKING WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next week they will unveil next summer's trip to London and Oxford. OMG. It's so hard because one of my classmates who has been here for several years mentioned to me that I might be a good person to help co-run the conference next year. So there's that. But then there is a chance to study in the place where my particular field of study frickin began.

Unfortunately they only take 15 people, you have to pay a gazillion dollars on top of the normal tuition costs (keep in mind this is a private school), and I have to apply and probably write an essay to just kept a chance to go. However, unless they tell me it's going to cost more than Bryan and I agreed on, I will be trying. Maybe. Unless someone gives me a chance to do something really important for my career. So right now it's up in the air.

Back to the conference. Some of the highlights include hearing my classmates read; I especially loved the creative work and I was so thrilled that one of my pals won with her awesome story about a girl hitchhiking to a destination unknown. It was one of those great 60s stories with lots of good Southern dialect thrown in. Beautiful.

I also had fun trying to win things! We had a silent auction that raised buckets of money. I had my eye on a copy of Robert Heinlein's Grumbles from the Grave, two Chris Van Allsburg prints and a framed poster of a knight and lady. In the end, I only won the prints because I got into a bidding war with someone over the Heinlein book and when I found out who it was and we talked about it, she was willing to spend more money than me. We had to use kiddie lit. pseudonyms and I was Hermione from who know who. The prints are cool though and I imagine they will work well in some capacity some day--if anything, in my dorm room next year:

Both prints are of children sleeping. Sorry about the flash but it goes all blurry if I turn it off.

I also bought, from our in-residence craft lady extraordinaire, this frame:

It has a Peter Pan theme and it's simply perfect. I'm not sure what I'm going to use it for, but I'll think of something.

It was a fun day and I am really starting to mesh with some of my classmates and spend more time with them outside our classes. Today we are having our "Halloween in June" party and I really thought I would be checking out early on this one, but I bought some ridiculous gear and I'm going. One of my roommates is going to be a "Harry Potter Trading Card" and the other will be Hermione. Pictures will follow, but I'm not going to tell you my costume yet. You'll just have to wait.

Also, one of my favorite parts of today was meeting Michael Patrick Hearn. He wrote the Annotated Wizard of Oz and basically knows everything there is to know about L. Frank Baum. A few things he cleared up for us today:

1) The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is not about early 20th century economics. The yellow brick road does not reflect the Gold Standard and Dorothy's silver shoes have nothing to do with silver values during Baum's life.
2) Dorothy was not dreaming when she went to Oz. It is a real place, at least in Baum's mind. The movie made it seem like she had been ill and that's why she dreamed it. Apparently that is not the case.
3) The man, W. W. Denslow, who illustrated the first book was partly the reason that L. Frank Baum became so popular with publishing companies, and yet he died a pauper and today very few people credit him with having anything to do with the franchise.

He's doing an annotated collection of Edgar Allan Poe's stories, which I will probably buy the second it comes out. And just in case some people don't know what I mean by "annotated," it means that he has gone back and researched EVERYTHING he can about the author, the work, its allusions, its vocabulary, etc. It's like a biography, history textbook, and novel in one.

Here's me with "da man":

Doesn't he look like the quintessential scholar?

Not to mention he's super personable. Not at all stuffy or high brow like so many scholars. You could actually have a meal with him and talk about sports or something. Very cool.

Even he seemed surprised I wanted a picture with him, but writers are my rock stars. Especially ones that can combine a knowledge of history with their own skills as a writer. Now if I could just meet Philip Pullman . . . I could die happy. For real.

Can I turn off my brain?

2007-06-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if it was a dream last night, but when I was trying to drift off to sleep I kept seeing flashes of light in front of me and hearing curse words in my head. (I know this sounds like something out of a Twilight Zone episode, but whatever.)

I turned over on my other side and the flashes went away. I drifted off shortly afterward.

While that event in itself is frightening, it's very reflective of my current state. I can't turn my brain off. I'm not going to go into all the things troubling my psyche right now, but I have way too much time to dwell on the most trivial of issues. A sampling would include:

What am I going to do with this degree?
Are my writing/thinking skills competitive enough to make a difference in this field?
What conferences, journals, call for papers, should I be hurriedly responding to?
How will I construct the two essays I've got to write?
When will I stop having to read a novel a day?

What is truly silly about these mostly rhetorical questions is that they won't matter the second I step foot on Raleigh soil again. As much as I love the mountains and the camaraderie and the discussions, we are almost too closed off here. I'm used to having day-to-day concerns, but here, other than eating, I'm left mostly to my own devices. Which, for someone apt to over thinking situations, is not a good thing. I'm going to be OK as soon as I move away from this computer and stop googling various young adult-related journals, but still . . . .

I had Tourette's for like five seconds last night. What's up with that?

And for a completely random conclusion--there's a bunny outside my window. Awwww.

Fairy Tales

2007-06-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

I was a fairy tale junkie when I was a kid. I had my mom's old copies of Grimms and Hans Christian Anderson, which I would read over and over again. I lived for Disneyfied cartoon versions of these tales and I think I watched Aladdin about 50 times one very boring summer. Part of me just loved the cheesy romance and the other part of me loved the fantastical elements. Now I've grown up and become "the biggest feminist" that Chris Baskett (one of my students) knows. Whatever I may have believed about romance is now countered by six years of a happy but very real marriage. I still love fantasy but modern fantasy is easy to digest because many novels have strong female protagonists and there are even stories that don't feature a love interest. Thus I could give a future child any number of fantasy stories and feel that I was giving him/her good literature.

But let's review a canonical fairy tale, shall we?

Cinderella:

This is the tale of a woman who allows her "evil" stepmother to force her into household service (wimp). She calls on birds to assist her with her chores (helpless). Then she decides that she must go to the big ball (materialistic) where she meets the man of her dreams who loves her based on her looks (shallow). Rather than show him who she really is she attempts to escape (the "real" story had her attend several balls, not just one) and the day of the last ball, she drops her shoe (dainty). After having no luck with getting the shoe on the big-footed step-sisters (thus signifying their lack of femininity which becomes their downfall), the shoe fits on the lovely Cinderella who has incredibly tiny feet (Chinese ideal). And she lives happily ever after. If I were to teach this story literally, here is what my students would (in theory) learn from it:
1) Whatever crappy things happen to you, you just have to take it because eventually it will get better.
2) That when facing any difficult task in life you will have help to overcome it (birds, fairy godmother).
3) That one must hide one's flaws (Cinderella hiding her poor attire).
4) That step-families are evil.
5) That a man will rescue you from your crappy life if you're attractive enough.

With the popularity of the Disney Princesses line, I think it's a good thing to at least look at what ideas we're introducing our children to. Admittedly, I read this tale and watched the Disney film many times as a child, and I still was able to see past the superficiality of the relationships within it. However, there are lots of little girls (and teenage girls) who believe some of these ideas about beauty and men, so not everyone hears the tale without being influenced by it.

The Cinderella "formula" has been around since the 7th century, so it does promote an ancient concept of love and a woman's place within society. In other words, it's dated. And there are several good novels out as well as the film Ever After that try to update it. But the Disney Cinderella is still out there (apparently you can buy a standee of her for $32.95 since that's where I got the picture above). Should we encourage young girls and boys to read fairy tales which often describe women as helpless until a man comes and rescues them from their various dilemmas? What's really awful is that the fairy tales that didn't follow this formula, like one called "Tattercloak," fell out of circulation in the Grimm and Anderson collections. So anything that might have offered a different perspective died out because they weren't as popular as the traditional tales.

I don't know what the answer is--there is a part of me that would want my daughter and/or son to read and watch films that do not make her/him feel like she/he has to be this caricature of womanhood/manhood. However, I grew up loving those films for their sentimentality and cute supporting actors (namely the mice or whatever creature was the hero/heroine's assistant). So why shouldn't children of the 21st century get to have their own say? I guess the compromise is to expose them to it but talk to them about what they think of Cinderella's decisions and how the story ended. I don't believe in censoring literature for language or unpopular ideas, but I also think that fairy tales can be dangerous because they don't specify a specific time or place, so in theory, they could be happening in a small European country somewhere. Whereas tales of women being mistreated in ancient Rome are historical and not timeless. We can look at them and say, "Aren't we glad it's not like that anymore!" With fairy tales, they are archetypes, so they live on forever in several chic lit. and romance books out there. Thus they stop being "once upon a time" and become very much a part of the modern world. As with all things, the discussion is necessary even if it does yield a definitive answer.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Routine

2007-06-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

I've gotten into a very consistent routine here. I get up around 7:30AM. Do the shower thing and get ready. Eat breakfast. Ride my bike to class. Sit in class for three hours (which is easier than it sounds). Go to the gym (Mon., Wed. and Fri.). Ride back to the apartment for lunch. Read /write for two hours. Take a nap. Read/write some more. Eat dinner. Read/write some more. Go to bed.

I know. Boring, right?

The consistency can be a little unnerving at times. There is ALWAYS ANOTHER BOOK TO READ! I like reading; I would go as far as to say it's my favorite past time, but this is required reading to an extreme. Plus this weekend we've got the Butler Conference which is a student-run critical/creative paper extravaganza. We get to sit and listen to 14 folks read their papers (about 15-20 min. each) and then listen to a keynote speaker talk for who knows how long. Some of this will be very interesting. Some of it will be mind numbing. Afterwards they are having a Halloween in July party but most of the people I've talked to just laugh because most of us are probably going to go home and crash.

It's tough because I had such a good time with Bryan last weekend and as much as I will enjoy hanging out with my classmates, I will be sad that I won't be having a repeat experience of last week. :-(

In addition, I finished my first Hollins paper and I think it definitely exhibits some suckage, so I'm going to try to get my professor to give it the old once-over tomorrow and help me out because I've gotten to that place where I've read it too much and I just can't look at it anymore and be objective. As a teacher, I know how annoying it is to read long rough drafts (this one clocks in at 7 pages, which is 3 more than it needed to be), so I'll see what I can get out of her. The good news is that our class is the only thing she's working on right now so in theory she's got the free time. We'll see.

On rereading this entry, I sound maudlin and I don't mean to be--I think the fact that I have to go to the gym before class tomorrow (eek!) is weighing on me a little. Getting up at 6:30AM is too reminiscent of the school year for me. And even then I usually didn't get out of bed until 6:50. So it's going to be an early day. However they are having a screening of Serenity tomorrow night so if I get all my homework completed like a good girl then I can go. Fingers crossed.

Paper Time

2007-06-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

It's 1AM, and I'm about three pages into my first essay for Hollins. It's not due until Friday, so, no, I am not procrastinating.

Today I read my third "flying off to Mars" book for sci-fi. The only problem with this one was that it had really pathetic romance scenes in it that overwhelmed the science portions of the book. Yes, I am one of those people. The kind of people who lift up their noses to books with high-heeled shoes on them or people discussing what brand of purse THEY MUST HAVE within its pages. I hate "chic lit." as they call it. I hate romance novels. I feel that both are fluff and should be treated as such. So whenever a romance writer gets all high and mighty about how his/her work should be respected and treated with the same reverence as Joyce Carol Oates or Tom Wolfe, I want to remind them that their books feature "aching bosoms" and "shoe fetishes" and thus are not works that I would ever consider taking seriously for a split second. Sorry. It's not that we shouldn't have such books because obviously there is an audience for them, but they shouldn't be expecting to be featured in the New York Times, that's all I'm saying.

I'm Back!

2007-06-24T18:02:00.000-07:00

Let's start off with the good news.

I got to see Bryan!!

The bad news is that it took me four hours to get to him. Even now I can't tell you what went wrong. On Saturday, I got in my car at 8:15AM and drove down the street to the McDonald's to get some breakfast. I turned around, got on what I thought was 220 South and happily zoned out as I thought about my upcoming reunion with "meus vir."

About 45 minutes into the drive, I noticed that none of the signs were counting down the miles to Danville or any other town in southern Virginia. In fact, they were talking about Richmond, which is in the eastern part of the state. Then I looked for a highway sign--and saw one for 64East and 81North. Huh?

I pulled over at an exit and checked out the 1990 U.S. Atlas that is in my car and I realized what was wrong. I WAS DRIVING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION! Yes, after an hour in the car, I figured out that I was going north instead of south. Somehow I had turned onto 220 North instead of south and that led me to the two interstates mentioned above. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to cry or scream because now I was going to be late AND Bryan wasn't going to know what was going on because, again, he doesn't have a cell phone.

Using my trusty atlas, I tried to figure out an alternate route so that I wouldn't have to back track all the way to Roanoke and then back down to Danville. I thought that I could take a smaller highway and cut across to an interstate that heads right into Danville, so I turned around and went south and took the appropriate exit.

However, I couldn't find the minuscule highway I needed to use to cut across, and, after pulling to the side of the road at least three times, I gave up and headed back to Roanoke.

My inner fury at that point is hard to describe now. I was so frustrated. I get to see my husband for maybe 26 hours and I just lost two of them to my own stupidity. For those of you with GPS crap in your cars, I don't want to hear it. I like my archaic way of traveling and even though some computer telling me how to get to Danville would have saved me all this grief, it would not have been as good a story. So blah.

To alert Bryan of my situation, I called 411 (sorry, Mom--you can send Bryan a bill) and called the motel we were staying at (and meeting at) to see if they could keep an eye out for him and give him the message that I was going to be about 2 hours late.

At noon, rather than at 10, I pulled into the Innkeeper's parking lot and encountered my husband coming out of a room with a smile on his face. He had gone into the office when he got there to get something to drink and they asked him if he drove a big red box-like car (my description of his Element) and gave him the message that I would be late. Apparently he was quite incredulous at first, "What do you mean she went the wrong way?" But they let him check in five hours early and watch some TV while he waited for his tardy wife to appear.

Thus, it was a very rested Bryan who greeted me. I was so happy to see him that I didn't even care we had lost two hours because we still had 24 to go. The Innkeeper actually turned out to be a decent hotel. It was the cheapest place we could find on hotels.com, but it was clean and they had a decent breakfast buffet this morning. Here are some pics:

The sign I had been waiting for! For FOUR HOURS!

Our snazzy room. To be fair, it had a microwave, fridge and a king-size bed (quite an improvement from the twin I've been sleeping in for the past week).

Danville itself is not very interesting. The park I had investigated and printed out maps for was really intended for mountain bikers, and since we were sans bikes, we walked for about an hour and a half and left it at that. Danville also doesn't have a Target, which was unfortunate because I needed to buy a new bike helmet because mine is missing one of its clips. In addition, Danville has the most confusing highway system I've encountered in a while. They have a mixture of four highways with various bypass and business labels and it was not a system we could master in the 12 hours we were driving around it. We made a lot of u-turns. Thus, our feeling, at the end of our stay, was that Danville sucks and we'll be trying a different town for our next meet-up. However, they have very funny signs including this one that I snapped on the way out of town:

Needless to say, I did not see this sign stop flashing on the 40mph road it was on. I love U.S. speed limit laws.

Generosity

2007-06-22T18:26:00.000-07:00

Today one of my professors called me "incredibly intelligent." Ha. Coincidentally we dissected a children's book called Neenie Coming, Neenie Going where the protagonist is full of herself because she lives in the city now and is visiting her family on a small island off the coast of South Carolina. In one picture she looms over her grandmother and cousin because her "head is so big." So today I'm kind of like this:
Just be glad that you don't have to witness it for yourself. The whole reason it came up was because I volunteered to be on this Southern Humanities Council that one of her colleagues is operating and she has to fill out a recommendation form for me. Since she has only known me for a total of six hours of class time, I asked her if she wanted me to send her a resume or something to help her find some things to talk about. She said that she'd think about it and get back to me because she already had some sense of my abilities and that's when she gave me the ego boost that frankly I needed because I'm among a lot of very talented writers and it was nice to know someone sees some potential in me.

Now on to why I called this entry "generosity." I went to a reading tonight by Nancy Ruth Patterson who is one of the most engaging speakers I have ever encountered. Funny. Personal. Encouraging. She had "presence," as I like to say. She did say one thing that I will definitely take with me though and that is the idea that our writing should be seen as an act of generosity rather than as a means of earning an income or entertaining others. This idea goes along with her belief that writers should write their dedication page first because then their work truly is a gift to someone--the person he/she dedicated the book to. For some reason that makes my first novel easier to write because I know who I want to write the book for and I know why I want to "give" them that sort of novel. So a book that was about fun in my mind is now a testament to the way someone lived his/her life.

Tomorrow I get to see my husband, which is also why my head and smile are so big right now. I will not be updating until Sunday when I get back from the exciting town of Danville, VA, where we will be rendezvousing tomorrow in an effort to shorten a 3.5 hour drive for one person to 1.5 to 2 hour drives for both of us. I have no idea what we're going to do in Danville for 24 hours, but, you know what, I really don't care. After this visit, it will be two weeks before I see Bryan again so I am going to try really hard to enjoy every minute and leave my computer at Hollins along with whatever novel I should be reading this weekend.

I will leave you with some of Nancy Ruth Patterson's beautiful words:

"Because I do remember so many people from my own life fondly, I keep on writing, even though it is usually a struggle for me. I do not ever want the goodness I have found in life to be lost. I want the best I know of life—the strength of my mother and the optimism of my father, the goodness of my grandmother and the honesty of my grandfather, the spirit of my brother and the faith of my friends, my gratitude for my students and the encouragement from my editors—to live on through the characters in my books. I want the lives of those I love to live on through my words. That, quite simply, is why I am a writer."

B-I-N-G-O

2007-06-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I played BINGO tonight. It's rough. I won twice; the first time during the oh-so-challenging "postage stamp" design game and the second during a wicked round of speed Bingo. I came away with a few fantastic prizes: 1) a $5 gift certificate to Bruester's (which is conveniently located across the street from our house in Raleigh), 2) a "girl" gift bag with assorted candies (mostly containing peanuts--obviously they've never had an allergy scare) and 3) some beautiful blue bath fizzies (their word, not mine). Oh, and my most prized prize:
Yes, that orange wrist band is all mine, ladies and gents. And notice the gender-specific bag in the background. I was not aware that only girls could utilize stickers and eat peanut M&Ms, but I won't look a gift horse in the mouth as they say.

So my science fiction paper is going to deal with the television show Firefly (which later became a feature film called Serenity). I love it when I can watch television for the sake of academia. Now, admittedly, I will have to use books too, but I'm much more excited about it now that I have some idea where I'm going.

Tonight I get to read alternative versions of Cinderella. Apparently almost half of the Cinderella-esque tales did not involve a wicked stepmother but a daddy with too much interest in his daughter, if you catch my drift. Let's say it together folks: "EEEEWWWWWWWWW." Should be exciting and slightly perverted stuff.

I have to say that Hollins is pretty awesome. The faculty members I have interacted with are really top notch and it is a very supportive environment. So supportive that I have decided to submit a critical essay and a short story to our 13th annual children's literature conference. I can honestly say, as a first year student, that my chances of being selected are REALLY SLIM, but I would feel stupid not trying. My short story may not even be eligible because it really toes the line between young adult and adult fiction. It's a black comedy that involves a young girl who likes to play "let me kill myself" for attention and because she thinks, if she ever succeeds, she might be reincarnated as a dog. Now I know some of you are staring at your computers and wondering why the heck I would ever write such a thing, but one of my classmates did a take on it while I was in undergrad and I never felt like she captured the humor she was aiming for. So I took my own crack at it a few years ago using a journal/letter/email format to add some suspense. Obviously it's a hit or miss type piece because people will either think it's hilarious or think I need to be hospitalized myself. So we'll see how that turns out. If my classmates start giving me concerned looks on Monday, I'll know what they thought. :-)

Storytelling

2007-06-20T18:50:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to a storytelling event at the library that was awesome. This kind of storytelling is basically where someone creates fables and presents them as monologues (with all the voices included). They do everything from memory which is quite a feat since they have to tell it like a "story" but do it all off-the-cuff. The funniest was this guy who told his own version of Hansel and Gretal where their mother was a pirate and their dad sounded like Apu from The Simpsons. Hansel and Gretal had southern accents and the old witch's house was made of monkeys with bananas for windows. Apparently, the storyteller, Ricky, is a 3rd grade teacher. I would pay serious money to have him teach my future children. For real. Every time I think of the mom saying "Aaargh," I crack up.

My second class did turn out to be as good as I thought. My professor is funny; she had us answer the following questions to introduce ourselves:
1) A movie I never want to see again...
2) A word that I hate is...
3) My least favorite food is...
4) A celebrity I would like to smack up the side of the head is...

I answered Anchorman for the first one because Will Ferrell is great in small doses, but that movie was too much of the same bad jokes over and over again. I hate the word "fine" because it's too nondescript and it simply means that you're not telling me how you really feel. I will NEVER eat veal because it's cruel that they chain calves at birth for our eating pleasure, and, as much as I hate to give her more publicity, I really think Lindsey Lohan needs to stop doing pretty much everything that she's doing. I really loved The Parent Trap remake and even mimicked her voice for fun whenever I had to sound British, so her fall from grace has been very bizarre for me as an early fan of her work. For those who comment regularly, what would your answers have been?

I have to say that I'm handling the pace pretty well although my sleep schedule is messed up. I have class from 9-12PM and then I usually go to the gym or various meetings and then I come home for lunch and settle in for whatever reading I may have to do. Inevitably I doze off for an hour or more while doing so because it's kind of cold in my room and I end up getting under a blanket on my bed and the sun is up and it's cozy and before I know it the books on the floor and I'm fast asleep. Thus I am not tired again till midnight or later so I get all this nervous energy, right about now in fact, and end up getting everything ready for the next day. I guess it's a very "college-like" schedule, but for someone who has been in the working world for two years, it feels indulgent. For those of you who can't take naps, I'm sorry. We need to become more like Spain because it really is the way to live. A little siesta and everything is right with the world.

So Behind

2007-06-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

Today I realized that I do not know a lot about science fiction. Sure I know that Frankenstein is considered the first sci-fi novel by many and that the genre has gotten a pretty bad rap from high-brow critics, but I never realized just how knowledgeable some people are about the writers and critics within the genre itself.

Thus, I felt a little behind today as I listened to my classmates, some of whom have already been published in this field, discuss so and so's critique versus so and so's. The problem is that I'm not behind in regards to other first-year students, but some people at Hollins seem to never leave.

I've met one student who is hoping to take nine years to get her degree (this is a summer program so that's not as alarming as it would be if we were here all year). I've met another who already has an M.A. from Hollins and is now working on her M.F.A. (Masters in Fine Arts). There was one student in my class (the well versed one on sci-fi criticism) who actually is done with her thesis and has graduated. She just felt like showing up for the class today. I really thought I would take my coursework over three summers, do my thesis in the Fall following my last semester here and be done. I still plan on doing that (don't worry Bryan), but all of these very senior students make the gap between their experience and ours all the more apparent. If I weren't so anal retentive, such a gap would not bother me. I'd be happy to bask in their knowledge and learn from them. But I'm not naturally like that. The competitive side of me makes me want to try to outdo such people even when that is not possible nor beneficial. It took me two years to get over the idea that I could be the "best teacher." I didn't understand at first that having multiple good teachers is far better for the students and the community as a whole. Now I'm trying to get my brain around the idea that I'm new at something again (much like I was when I first matriculated into college) and that I just need to chill. Heaven help me if I make a B.

By the way, I'm not proud of my neurosis about grades and competitions. I consider it to be my biggest fault and I would love for someone to just knock me out some day and hypnotize me to feel differently because it's exhausting to always worry about "my rank." I am going to have to work very hard to not pass on this trait to any future children because we don't need a third person in the household behaving this way.

Tomorrow is the class that I am more comfortable with --the History of Children's Criticism. It is also a class with just first year students, so I will not be encountering more Van Wilders for which I am most grateful.

I forgot to mention yesterday the passing my first cat, Figaro. For the past six years he has been living with my in-laws because Bryan and I couldn't have pets in our first apartment. Once we could have pets, Figaro was around 15 years old and very comfortable with his new home so we got a new cat instead (Quark, who has been terrorizing us for two years now). Figaro was now 17 years old and had developed liver cancer so my mother-in-law had him put to sleep yesterday. It's hard because if he had remained my cat for the past six years this event would have devastated me because he was such a big part of my growing up. However, I had compartmentalized the situation to the point where I saw him more as the Millers' cat than mine these days. Thus, I am sad, and I wish I had a picture of him to look at now that I know he's gone, but I know that she made the right decision.

Figaro was my "alarm clock" when I was younger because around 6 or 7 in the morning, he would start howling for someone to wake up and feed him. Recently we stayed with the Millers and were dismayed at 7AM to find out that he had not lost the habit. Sure enough he started howling when the sun came up and then proceeded to use the litter box (which was in the room we were staying in) just to make his needs especially clear to us. So my last memory of him brought me full circle. I guess that's all the closure I'm going to get.

Orientation

2007-06-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

The good news is that Prasanna Thwar (who turned out to be a guy, go figure) did not donate my books to his favorite elementary school. Rather, he kept them and returned them to my husband this evening. Crisis averted.

As for my first day as a graduate student, it went well. I've gone green for starters. Yes, Michele is no longer using a vehicle to transport herself to class. I am using my bike. The apartments are close to the university and they have an underground path for walkers so I have found it very easy to get around. I haven't tried taking it to my local Kroger yet, but I need some yogurt so that may be happening soon. There is no way I could get around Raleigh on a bike so I'm living out a fantasy of mine where I don't have to depend on a car to live out my day-to-day life. I feel very European and I'm sure I'll be bemoaning my commute on I-540 when I return home. Everyone can look forward to my sanctimonious rants come August.

Today was the usual orientation cycle--welcome to the program, here's how to use a computer and here's the library and all the comfy spots to sleep while you pretend that you're studying. The computer orientation was redundant but most people from my generation and after find computer instruction from 40-year-olds rather humorous. "This is how you change your password." "This is how you check your e-mail." I played along like a good little student but I think most of us were checking our e-mail when she was teaching us how to turn our computers on.

I have met many of my classmates and they are a varied bunch. They're from all over--California, Wisconsin, Missouri, Florida, etc. Hollins is a big draw for my field, and I feel like I'm at Duke again where being somewhat local was actually out of the norm.

Tomorrow is my first day in an actual class--Gender in Science Fiction with Dr. Sullivan. I love breaking down some archetypal hero stories, so this should be fun. We're reading a lot of middle school-aged works, so I can't say I'm familiar with Space Station Rat, but I'm sure I will find some things to say about how it engenders its protagonist. I've already deconstructed Charlotte's Web and how it actually demonstrates the fickle natures of young people, so I'm on a roll. I promise I will just read the books to my children and not tell them all "my opinions" about them, but once they're 13 and up, it's on. Just wait, Phoenix (my nephew)!

Father's Day

2007-06-17T11:17:00.001-07:00

I did want to take a moment and reflect on the fact that today is Father's Day and last year at this time I had just finished scattering some of my dad's ashes in the Atlantic Ocean.

I know my dad was very firm on me going to graduate school and pursuing my writing career, and I'd to think that this experience fulfills some of his own dreams for me. I wish I had something profound to say about fatherhood and my dad; all I have is something I wrote right after he died:

Some little girls think their fathers are superheroes. They envision their fathers as the best of men—strong, consistent, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

My father was a superhero. His costume was a breathable hiking shirt, tear-away pants and a red bandana tied around his forehead. His weakness wasn’t kryptonite though; it was his heart, which was so full with his love of life that it could not sustain him more than 55 years. He lived strong and now we all must live strong for him and for ourselves.

I love you, Dad. Happy Father's Day.

New Digs

2007-06-17T10:29:00.001-07:00

Wow, so that was really hard. After roughly 24 hours of Roanoke fun, Bryan left to go do his own grocery shopping, make sure our cats don't die from starvation and to prepare to go to work again tomorrow. Now I'm sitting here at a wooden desk in front of a dirty window and wondering what the next six weeks are going to be like. But let's begin at the beginning....

Me leaving home.

The trip was relatively peaceful, but Roanoke is an interesting place to get to from Raleigh. We drove through the downtowns of several small communities including Hillsborough and Yanceyville. Both were thrilling, let me assure you. The scenery was mostly funeral homes and missionary Baptist churches along with a scattering of ramshackle farm houses and random elementary schools. We made a few missteps, which was fun because we only have one cell phone between the two of us so if the other one realized that something was amiss, we had to honk and gesture wildly or pull up alongside the other car and shout through closed windows. Our lack of cell phone comfort comes in handy in times like those for sure. However, and I wish I had a picture of it, the most interesting thing I spied along the drive, besides a defunct gas station with unleaded gas for $1.01, was a sign that read: "Thieving Bastards Burn in Hell." Someone obviously has an ax to grind. Poor fellow.

My first view of Hollins' campus.

The front of my apartment. Gulp.

Our "great room." I think those chairs have seen better days.

My chosen bedroom. I got there first and had the pick of three bedrooms. One of them had its own bathroom and two beds for some reason, but I went with a normal size one because I didn't want to be "the girl who took the biggest bedroom." When my first roommate got here, she said the same thing. So now Erin, who has yet to appear, will get the large bedroom by default. Such manners!

My room with my stuff in it.

My room fully decorated. Now this room is proof that I am both my mother and father's daughter. This is what my room looked like after about an hour of being at the apartment. That proves that I'm my mother's daughter because she nests like nobody's business when she comes to a new place. That end table with the printer on it proves that I came from my dad because it is actually one of the end tables out of the living room. Considering the living room's condition and the fact that no one was there yet, I figured they wouldn't miss it. And it makes such a nice table for my printer!

More room.

Last part of room.

Bryan was an amazing help. He helped me unpack all my stuff, got my computer online, got my new printer working, bought me a television so I could rot my brain a little while I was gone, and hooked it up to the cable line in the other room. He hung up all my posters and rearranged the furniture in my room. When I went to Duke, my mom moved me in and Bryan visited during orientation. Now he's my husband and he gets to do it all. He knew that it was important that I make my room home, especially since this apartment is more like Kensington Park (our first apartment in Raleigh) than our current home. He was awesome; no other way of describing it.

After a massive grocery trip and the unfortunate, but necessary, visit to Wal-Mart, we got around to celebrating our anniversary. We tried to recreate our first anniversary with a trip to Outback, not knowing Roanoke's dining options. However the wait was 80 minutes because we were young and stupid and had our wedding on the same weekend as Father's Day. So we ended up at a Mexican restaurant with outdoor seating. It was nice and chill, but it made me wish we were in some island paradise rather than in a surprisingly southern town in Virginia. I've heard stronger accents here than in New Bern.

Today we actually walked around Hollins' campus and figured out where my classrooms would be, the library, etc. Here are some highlights:

This picture shows one of the paths near a cluster of theatre buildings. It's very liberal artsy. Meaning nice trees, beautiful buildings and lots of flowers. Pretty much the anti-NCSU. :-)
Me, traveling the campus.

The view from the library. Gosh, what a drag to have to spend six weeks with views like these.

My home, 9-12PM, Tuesday-Friday. Yay school!

Now I'm left with a sizable stack of books to read and a lot Lean Cuisines in the freezer. This first week will be rough until I get some type of routine in place, but I'm excited that I'm finally getting to go the kind of school I should have gone in the first place. I love NCSU and I have no regrets on that point, but this experience is more than just a master's degree to me--it's a chance to have the college experience I didn't get to have at Duke (because they suck).

I'll leave you with some...LATIN!

It's the motto of Hollins University. Five bonus points to whoever can tell me what it means!

Packing

2007-06-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

It's hard to anticipate everything I'll need for six weeks. Vacuum? Desk lamp? Deco art? I'm going to see Bryan again five days after he leaves me on Sunday so that makes our separation less stressful, but it's starting to hit me that I'm leaving my home too. I like my house; in fact, I'd say it's definitely home sweet home. Now Bryan gets to enjoy it all summer and I get to live in some random apartment in Virginia.

I don't mean to complain about everything. In fact, I'm pretty sure that when Bryan leaves on Sunday and I'm there with my books and my computer and my two new roommates that I'll be excited about pursuing my degree. It's just this build-up that's hard to take. Not to mention that I've had a stretch of bad days recently that has made my grand send-off more chaotic than I planned.

The problems are mostly tied to these five books I have to read for my science fiction class. Five little novels that my professor put on the list of things to read. The issue is that these five books are out of print. Now I've got five years of college under my belt, so I'm done the whole textbook purchasing thing before. The difference is that I'm used to showing up at the campus bookstore, finding my course, and seeing all the texts required for that course for sale. Hollins, at least during the summer, does not do that. Thus I, with a week before I left, realized that I couldn't wait to pick up these five books when I arrived at Hollins--I was going to need to get them myself. So I ordered them through various used book vendors on Amazon, paid the expedited shipping, and relaxed.

Until I was driving home from the gym on Thursday and remembered that I had done the whole 1-click purchasing thing at Amazon and they still have our old townhouse address listed as our main address. When I got home I looked at the e-mail confirmations and sure enough, the books were being sent to some stranger at Sunscape.

So I rushed over there in the hopes that the man or woman living there now would have either sent them back to the vendors or better yet have them stacked by his/her front door in anticipation of a postal worker or perhaps this Michele DeCamp character they were sent to in the first place. When I got there, of course, there were no cars in the parking spaces and no boxes. I looked at an address label in the trash (it was in plain sight :-)) and left her a note telling her how to reach me.

So Ms. Prasanna Thwar....where's the phone call? I called Amazon and they delivered the boxes to someone so what were you planning on doing with books like The Winds of Mars or The Keeper of the Isis Light? We're stopping by there again tomorrow on our way to Roanoke if we don't hear from her tonight. I hit up two Wake County libraries last night to get four out of five of the books. I'll have to read the Hollins library's reserve copy if I don't get my hands on the other one. All this stress for five books out of the 22 I have to read this summer.

And so it begins.... However, I'm going to enjoy my six-year wedding anniversary tomorrow. Apparently you're supposed to give iron and/or candy. I've managed to get my hands on both for Mr. DeCamp. Six years. It's funny when you reach the point where you forget when that person came into your life because most of your existence has been tied to him in some way. We've been married for six but we've known each other since he was in the seventh grade and I was in the eighth. I never believed in soul mates when I was younger, but I do believe that he and I are perfect for each other, and I know this six-week separation will be survivable because we are best friends who love each other very much. (On re-reading this, I apologize for the mushiness) And this is basically what it was like when I worked at Technician. Sort of. Except for the whole Virginia part. And the graduate school part. And the lack of writing news articles part.

But otherwise, it's the exact same.

Almost Gone

2007-06-11T13:11:00.001-07:00

In a few days I will be leaving for Hollins. I just finished my second year of teaching and now I'm about to become a student again. I'm excited to have this opportunity, but I also don't know what it's going to be like to be away from my home for six weeks.

I know Bryan and I will be OK, but I'm going to miss all the little things like when he tells me the time in 10-minute intervals in the morning (I have trouble getting up) . I'll miss his meals. I'll miss living with someone who I am 100% comfortable with at all times.

I'm going to miss my cats too.

Sigh.